Am I Wrong for Sacrificing My Younger Daughter's College Fund for the Sake of Her Older Sister?

A parent of two girls found herself shut out from her youngest child's life after she took the girl's college fund to help her oldest one. The youngest sibling felt wronged, leaving her mother wondering if she'd made the right choice.

Taking to Reddit's AITAH sub, a 48-year-old woman shared her story, hoping to find out if she was the wrong one. She revealed that her oldest daughter, 24, gave birth to her fourth child six months before she created the post.

The original poster (OP) noted how the young woman used to work as a dishwasher but had to quit because of health issues. The daughter suffered from chronic back pain when she had her second child and then suffered after-effects from a broken tailbone and more chronic pain after welcoming her third child.

That meant standing and moving around became difficult, and she could no longer work. OP said the young woman tried her best by getting an office temp job, but after about a week there, the woman supervising the 24-year-old told her it wasn't working out.

The parent believed the supervisor was uptight since she claimed it always took her three days maximum to train everyone else for the data entry work. OP felt the supervisor couldn't be a good person since she couldn't accommodate slow learners.

She also suspected that the supervisor gave her daughter a bad reputation at the temp agency because the mother of four couldn't get hired elsewhere. On the other hand, her daughter's 28-year-old boyfriend works at Walmart. While she was pregnant with their fourth child, he managed to get more hours at work.

However, since she gave birth, his hours haven't been steady. He vowed to take a day off to look for other work, but since it was during the Thanksgiving holidays, he was focused on his family. OP explained that she empathized with her child and her boyfriend and wished she could do more to assist them.

However, she couldn't because she was a single mother who worked at a nursing home where she struggled to get full-time hours. OP also had a bad financial background because her ex ran up a lot of debt in both their names and has since relocated to another country.

This is where the story gets interesting. OP's younger daughter is 17 and has a college fund. The amount saved is enough to pay for two years in community college, and the teenager was still expected to get scholarships and grants.

OP's youngest applied to four-year universities, knowing she'd have to work and take loans to supplement her education. The young girl was still deciding between community college and four years in university.

"My sister who is 7 years older had three kids by her 21st birthday and I paid for it."

Things came to a head when OP's oldest daughter got evicted with her family from their one-bedroom apartment. Their landlord discovered they were allowing the 24-year-old's boyfriend's brother and girlfriend to live with them in exchange for help with the rent.

The older child acknowledged that it was wrong for them to lie to their landlord. However, the couple was now depressed because the father of four received a job offer a state away, which meant they were moving away from their support network.

The pair reached out to OP asking if she could help them so they could have more time to find financial stability in their state. OP revealed she was torn over the request, but when she saw her grandchildren, she said:

"I knew my duty was to care for the most vulnerable in the family."

The parent decided to make calls to liquidate her teenage daughter's college fund, with the acceptance of whatever penalties she'd incur. She informed her daughter about her plan, and the teenager didn't receive the news well, coldly saying:

"You always brag about having a good memory- I hope you remember this moment then."

The teenager stopped talking to OP and spent Thanksgiving reaching out to family and friends to see if any hospitals were looking to hire college students for reception, kitchen work, or anything else. The young girl also posted cryptic social media posts.

In them, she mentioned hoping to be grateful one day for not having the privilege to study anything besides something technical because she needs something where she'll always find a job. OP wished to know if she was in the wrong in the matter, and Reddit users didn't hold back.

"Older daughter makes poor choices and the younger daughter pays for it. Since the Older daughter was having health issues, she could have decided not to have more children," one person stated.

"My sister who is 7 years older had three kids by her 21st birthday and I paid for it. Never had money for anything because it had to go to her. Never got to be a teenager because we had to babysit so she could work. I thought maybe I was projecting my own issues onto this women (sic) but I'm glad other people see the issue too," someone else shared.

"Agreed. The younger daughter sounds like she has a good head on her shoulders. She will probably go on to make a wonderful life for herself despite her mother's actions. And when OP is old and in need of assistance, she won't be able to turn to the one child who would have been responsible enough to help," another reader noted.

"And the boyfriend will start looking for another job later..at some point..because he is busy with family for the holidays...yet his hours are reduced. What a bogus excuse to not look for a better job/more hours anywhere else. Seasonal jobs are so easy to find, and now is the time they need help. They are willfully unemployed/underemployed," someone else believed.

Most Reddit users thought OP was wrong for her decision and that she'd regret it in the near future. Others felt OP's eldest daughter and boyfriend were unwilling to make valid changes in their lives to secure themselves and their children.

Click here if you enjoyed that story to read about a young boy who forced an apology from his parents for always favoring his younger sibling.