logo
A view of a beautiful house | Source: Flickr.com/roarofthefour/CC BY-SA 2.0
A view of a beautiful house | Source: Flickr.com/roarofthefour/CC BY-SA 2.0

Am I Wrong for Refusing My Mom to Move into My Home after She Retired?

Junie Sihlangu
Feb 05, 2024
07:40 A.M.

A woman in her early thirties thought she'd found personal freedom and space when she bought her first house. Little did she know that her retiring mother had plans for it, wanting to move in with her. Sadly, the woman didn't feel the same way.

Advertisement

Taking to the AITAH subreddit, a 32-year-old woman wanted to know if she was wrong in the following situation. She explained that in 2023, she reached an incredible milestone when she bought her first-ever house, boasting two bedrooms.

What was unique about the place was that it suited her needs perfectly. However, the original poster's (OP) 60-year-old mother had other plans. Now that the older woman was retiring, she wanted to relocate from OP's childhood home to her new city.

A young woman sitting outside a house | Source: Pexels

A young woman sitting outside a house | Source: Pexels

The parent threw a spanner in the works when she asked if she could move into the young woman's extra bedroom instead of buying her own condo. As much as she loves her mother, OP revealed she declined the request.

Advertisement

The Reddit user said she didn't want to give up her personal space or guest room. Sadly, her mother got upset and argued that the family should live together. The parent said she wished to be closer to OP, and the younger woman was being "unreasonable" for not wanting her to move in.

An upset older woman looking down while seated | Source: Pexels

An upset older woman looking down while seated | Source: Pexels

Wanting to assist her mother in finding a better living alternative, the Redditor suggested helping her parent look for an affordable 55+ community instead. However, her stubborn mother refused to entertain any other housing alternative.

The parent insisted that OP has plenty of room in her house and that she should want her mother to live with her in retirement. The Reddit user's mother went as far as trying to use manipulation tactics, with OP revealing:

Advertisement

"She says I'm abandoning her in her time of need."

A displeased younger woman standing in front of an older one | Source: Pexels

A displeased younger woman standing in front of an older one | Source: Pexels

The poster confessed that she feels guilty but isn't ready to live with her mother at her age when she's just finally gotten her own space. OP's brother called her "selfish" for not supporting their mother's plan. However, the Redditor doesn't believe their mother's retirement means she has to give her the privacy of her own home.

In a follow-up comment to Reddit users' replies, OP reiterated that she loves her mother and understood that not everyone wants to live with their parents in retirement. She explained that she proposed alternatives to help her mother relocate, but giving up her guest room full-time wouldn't work for her right now.

Advertisement
A man and woman arguing indoors | Source: Pexels

A man and woman arguing indoors | Source: Pexels

The woman hopes she and her mother can find a suitable living arrangement. She also wrote back with another clarification when one person asked if her mother was able to take care of herself financially, she replied,

"Yes, she can support herself! She just wants to move because her house is too big for her alone."

An upset younger woman facing down | Source: Pexels

An upset younger woman facing down | Source: Pexels

Advertisement

"Tell your brother, mom can move in with him," one reader suggested.

Another one said, "Mom can buy a place, and brother can live with her and take care of her."

"NTA. She's 60 so is retiring on the younger side. She never communicated her plans with you and you're under no obligation to house her. Not only would you be losing your extra room, your entire adult life would revert back to a pseudo child-like (sic) situation," noted someone else.

A younger woman showing an older one something on her phone while outside | Source: Pexels

A younger woman showing an older one something on her phone while outside | Source: Pexels

Replying to the previous Redditor's comment, another reader said, "This. You would be expected to do as she wants/says because she knows better because she is your mother. It will ruin your life, trust me, having parents living with you from my 20s definitely did this to me. I was fortunate to get away from my mother when I remarried in my 50's, leaving her in my house but still, she is a burden because she thinks it was my duty to live with her to look after her. 'When you left…' is her favorite refrain."

Advertisement
A frustrated woman sitting on a chair with her hands over her ears and head | Source: Pexels

A frustrated woman sitting on a chair with her hands over her ears and head | Source: Pexels

"NTA. Your mother's housing isn't your problem or responsibility. She wants to live with you, and you don't want that to happen. She can get her own place and live near you. Why would you want to live with your mom? Is she going to pay rent, help with bills, or is she looking to live there for free? How are you abandoning her? She's choosing to want to move," advised another person.

A younger woman embracing an older one from behind | Source: Pexels

A younger woman embracing an older one from behind | Source: Pexels

Judging by the comments, it seems many people were on OP's side. Others even suggested that the parent get a two-bedroom house and move in with OP's brother since he seemed keen on the idea.

If that story had your blood boiling, click here to read about a woman who asked her mother-in-law to move out after the older woman clashed with her parents.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Related posts

My Boyfriend's Son Scares Our 3 Month-Old-Daughter on Purpose, Forcing Me to Take Action

May 05, 2024

My Husband Mentioned He'd Be Working on Valentines Day, Then I Discovered Him in a Restaurant

May 05, 2024

Woman Struggling with Infertility Gets Pregnant, Her Attention-Seeking Sister Makes It All About Her Own Baby

February 07, 2024

My Wife’s Parents’ Anniversary Turned into Destruction of Friendly Family Relations

February 14, 2024

My Sister Called Me in Tears – After That I Divorced My Husband of 10 Years

February 20, 2024

I Revealed My Fiancé Was Cheating On Me to His Family – His Grandma Gave Him an Ultimatum

February 19, 2024

I Proposed to My Girlfriend, Now She Wants to Be a Stay-at-Home Fiancée – Am I Marrying a Gold Digger?

February 06, 2024

Am I Wrong for Sacrificing My Younger Daughter's College Fund for the Sake of Her Older Sister?

February 01, 2024

I Threw the Nephew I Literally Raised Out of My House and Told Him Not to Come Back

February 20, 2024

My Mom Stole 35K from My Grandma and Accused Me of Elderly Abuse, Spurring Me to Take a Stand

February 22, 2024

My Wife Fired Our Babysitter We Trusted for Years after She Saved Our Sons Life

May 02, 2024

My Husband Asked For Paternity Test after I Gave Birth – He Was 'Shocked' When He Read the Results

February 14, 2024

5 Karma Stories That Will Make You Think Twice before Acting

April 29, 2024

I Suspect My MIL Is Snooping through My Personal Things, So I’ve Prepared a Spicy Trap to Finally Expose Her

February 25, 2024