Am I Wrong for Telling My Mother-in-Law to Leave Our Wedding Even Though She Paid for It?

A woman stood her ground after her mother-in-law attempted to ruin her wedding day. However, she feels awful for taking a stand because she, her husband, and her child are all the MIL has.

In 2021, a 28-year-old female on Reddit shared that her mother-in-law was not accepting of her initially when she started dating her 27-year-old son. The couple crossed paths four years after he divorced his former wife, whom the family deems "the love of his life."

The Original Poster (OP) said this does not bother her because her husband assured her that he does not consider the ex as the love of his life. Their toxic relationship led them to split even though the first wife "Mindy" did not want to end things.

The two married and divorced young and were high school sweethearts. The husband was not a good student, and Mindy made him take his future seriously; hence, the MIL loved her so much, said OP. They attended different universities, and this created room for jealousy.

According to OP, the former couple wed only for reassurance, which worsened the situation even further as the husband decided to file for divorce at 21. OP further explained:

"It was pretty hard for me to get accepted into his family, especially for his mother, she was so, so, so in love with Mindy and adored her as her DIL."

OP revealed her MIL and Mindy were so close that she even slipped into depression once Mindy uprooted to another state to avoid being near her spouse. But as time passed, OP eventually bonded with her MIL under unfortunate circumstances.

This was after the death of her father-in-law, as his passing crushed her mother-in-law. OP and her spouse have shown the MIL great support since then, as he is the couple's only child. Once OP and her husband had their first son, it brought joy to the MIL. She divulged:

"MIL found a new push to live thanks to him, and even though we didn't become the perfect family, we are close enough to let my MIL know that she'll never be alone again."

When the global pandemic hit, things became challenging for OP and her spouse regarding finances, and after having their child, they needed to prioritize their needs. So, they decided to purchase their first home with the money her FIL had left for her husband and some of the couple's savings.

They also agreed to have a small celebration after they got legally married, but the MIL would not have it. She offered to pay for the duo's wedding since she was proud of her son, who did right by his child.

However, OP and the father of her child refused to allow the MIL to help them because it did not feel right. But she convinced them that if they waited too long to get married, she would miss the wedding just as her late husband did.

The couple agreed to have an intimate and simple wedding ceremony and even allowed the MIL to have a say in some of their decisions for the nuptials. Shockingly, the MIL had Mindy by her side on the wedding day as her plus-one, confusing the couple.

The MIL approached them, and they asked her what was going on. She said she had invited Mindy because it was a "special day." "My husband said that yes, it was a special day for us and that Mindy had no business being there and would appreciate if she left," OP recounted.

Her MIL looked at her, and she told her she would also like to see Mindy leave the ceremony. The in-law then got upset and told the pair that she paid for the wedding and could invite anyone she wanted.

But the couple told her Mindy was not merely anyone and argued that it was wrong of her to invite her without telling them. She threatened to leave if Mindy had to go, and OP's spouse said by all means.

Interestingly, the MIL changed her mind and said she would remain behind but that the couple should tell Mindy to leave. OP's spouse was happy to do that, and his mother spent the entire evening mad. After the wedding, the newlyweds offered to pay for half of the expenses or everything if the MIL wanted to, but she said the damage was already done.

OP and her husband feel some way because of how things transpired, mainly because they asked the family matriarch to leave. They know she had been looking forward to their big day more because the spouse is her only child, so the two feel it was unfair on her.

However, fellow Redditors said OP and her husband made a good decision, adding it is evident this was the MIL's ploy to break them up. One person pointed out that it was odd for Mindy to agree to be there in the first place, especially since their marriage ended badly.

Do you think OP and her husband were right in asking his mother to leave the wedding? What would you have done if you were in OP's position? Read more about a father-in-law who got instant karma after being rude to his daughter-in-law.