My 15 y.o. son started dating a 37 y.o. man.What should I do?

Dear AmoMama,

I have no-one to turn to for advice and a very sensitive situation on my hands. Many years ago, when I was a teen I had sex with an older woman who ended up pregnant and gave birth to my son.

Through a series of circumstances, I have raised my son alone, and we are very close. Two years ago, he told me he was very attracted to one of the boys in his class, and he thought he might be gay. We talked about it, and came to terms with it, accepted his homosexuality.

We've kept it between us because the rest of the family is fanatically homophobic. A few weeks ago, my son told me he is very much in love and wants me to meet his new boyfriend, and I told him to bring him home for dinner.

He told me he met him online, at a gay dating site, and to my horror, he tells me this is a  man, more than twice his age, older than me. I told my son that if he has sex with him it would be statutory rape because this man is an adult, not a boy his own age.

My son has denied having sex with him, and I explained that this is not teenage love, this is a grown man taking advantage of a young vulnerable boy. My son started screaming at me saying I am a hypocrite because his mother had done the same, and how could I judge him...

My first instinct is to go to the Police, have this man arrested for statutory rape of a minor, but that will expose my son, and I don't want to do that

I want him to stop seeing this man. How can I make him understand that this is not a sincere, healthy love? Just as my relationship with his mother wasn't, something I only realized much later in my life.

Can someone advise me on how to reach my son? Or failing that, how can I get this man to leave him alone?

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