I can't believe that just a few days ago I was the happiest woman in the world, and now I am drowning in misery.
My fiancée called off our Spring wedding an hour before the ceremony. I still can't believe it. I was all dressed up and putting the finishing touches to my makeup at my sister's house when he came in.
My sister started laughing and telling him he couldn't see me because it was bad luck, but he was so pale and strange that I immediately realized something was very wrong. I asked her to leave and asked him what was the matter.
He started crying, and then he said he'd realized he couldn't marry me after all. He said it was too much for him, he didn't think he could handle the pressure and the responsibility of a ready-made family.
I'm 43-years-old, and a widow with two young children and when he had first asked me out, I'd told him that straight away. He told me he didn't care, about the children or the age difference - he is 8 years younger than me. I was afraid to take a chance, but he wooed me and broke down my resistance.
He was loving and supportive of my children and they grew to love him as much as I did, We had even planned the honeymoon to include the children. Suddenly this man who'd won me was telling me he didn't want me anymore, that my children were too great a burden.
How can I tell my children the man they had grown to love and trust is gone, doesn't love me anymore, does not want to be with me.
I'm so angry. How could he not know this was how he felt a month ago, or a week, a day! How could he wait until one hour before to break this news to me?
I took off my wedding dress and went to the church and apologized to our guests. His parents were as shocked as I was. I apologized but I couldn't explain because I don't understand it myself.
Why didn't he know before? How could he not know? I am heartbroken and humiliated and humbled by the pity I see in every face.
I don't know what to think, what to feel. I'm drowning in confusion and pain. I can barely face myself in the mirror. How will I survive this?
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