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August 30, 2018

'My mother-in-law can't stand to see us happy and she interferes in any way she can'

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Dear AmoMama,

I know it's a stereotype for mothers-in-law to be nasty but mine seems off the charts! My mother-in-law is a horrible woman, and I cannot take her abuse anymore. My mother-in-law can't stand to see us happy and she interferes in any way she can, but this last episode has just tipped me over the edge.   

Before we got together, my husband was seeing his high school sweetheart. They didn't work out because she cheated on him when she went to college out of state – he surprise-visited her with a promise ring and found her in bed with a football player. He was heartbroken and didn't date for more than a year after that.

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I was a work friend at the time and he often confided in me that he felt suicidal and insecure after her betrayal. I helped him through all of it, even calling an ambulance and sitting at the hospital with him when they pumped his stomach after he overdosed. His parents didn't know. 

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Since that night when he nearly died, he turned to me in a different way and we grew even closer. He slowly got over her and we began seeing each other. He stopped being suicidal and really started to regain his confidence and find himself again.

He whisked me overseas out-of-the-blue and proposed to me in Paris, a place on my bucket list, and we've been happily married for 2 years now. We usually travel every year but this year we started talking about having children and I went off the pill. We're putting money away for our future babies.

Enter my witch mother-in-law. Her husband is a disgusting man who has been unfaithful to her numerous times. He claims no man has been faithful to a woman since the time of Jesus. He is the reason my husband took his ex's betrayal so hard.

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So last week, my mother-in-law contacted my husband's ex and told her our marriage was over. She cried on the phone and said I was a horrible, selfish wife and demanded things from my husband like overseas trips that he couldn't afford. I pay for our trips away. I save up all year in a holiday fund and treat us to a two-week vacation every year. The rest of my money goes into a joint account for taking care of the household and our day-to-day needs. We don't have any money issues.

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My husband came home livid after getting a call at work from his ex – she's been married and divorced twice in 4 years and has two children. She told him his mother called her and she cried on the phone apologizing for everything she did when she was "young and stupid," telling him that he was the best thing that ever happened to her and she will fight for him until her last day.

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He told her his mother was mistaken and he was not interested, but both of them have been phoning him at work now and the ex has been texting him non-stop. His mother keeps pushing her onto him, reminding him of all the good times they had together. It seems like she is unhappily married to a cheater and she wants him to be too.

My period is late and I wanted to share the good news with my hubby, but after he came home upset again yesterday, I finally had enough and called my mother-in-law up. I offloaded everything I felt about her meddling and then I told her that she was a terrible mother who didn't care about her son's happiness at all.

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I asked her where she was on the night her son had tried to commit suicide and needed to be rushed to the hospital to have his stomach pumped. I told her how that girl she wants him with had almost killed her son and the only reason he is still around is that I found him slumped over his desk at work and got him help. Then I told her I wanted nothing to do with her and she will never see her unborn grandchild, and I hung up. 

She's called numerous times, crying, begging, pleading, but I refuse to take her call. I am done. My husband just wants me to forgive and forget. His ex-girlfriend has crawled back under her rock and she hasn't contacted him since. Was my reaction abnormal? 

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

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