'She was my son': Mom's story of how 4-year-old knew she was not a boy
Being the parents of a child with problems about his gender identity can feel like a tightrope between wanting to honor the feelings of their son and protect him from the inquisitive eyes of other people.
If parents have not gone through a process of changing their gender identity perception, they will not always know how to proceed with their son’s transition, much less how to do it well.
This was the fight a Massachusetts mother had to face when her son started telling her that he wanted to be a girl.
Adrienne Anzelmo was not sure how to guide her son on the path he was taking, but in the end, it was her love for her son that made him cross any barrier that got in his way.
The parents of the child made an appointment with the doctors of the Disorders of Sex Development and Gender Management Service program at Boston Children’s Hospital to try to better understand how they should proceed with their child.
But it was only when the doctors shared revealing statistics that Adrienne realized the cruel reality of her son. Read more on our Twitter account @amomama_usa
"The doctor slid across the table to my husband and me a sheet of statistics," she remembered. "I remember hearing the words she spoke as if she was 100 miles away echoing each sound as it made its way to me."
The doctor told Adrienne and Keir that 1 out of every 2 children is at risk of committing suicide or attempting suicide if they are not supported by their family in the gender nonconformity that they manifest.
This fact terrified the parents. "I remember very well that my husband addressed me and said it sounded like a death sentence for our son if we continue like this," he said.
Adrienne had doubts about the status of her son. She often felt guilty because she sometimes wondered if Matty would suffer from being different, but this visit revealed the hard truth she had to accept: Matty would never be happy as a man.
"My love for [Matty] and his desire to understand it surpassed all of that, Matty made me realize that I did not have children so that they could be what I expected, I had children to nurture, love and support the people they chose to become, "he said.
For this reason, Adrienne allowed her son to eventually become Madison and go to school dressed as a girl as he so much wanted. And as expected, his classmates were the ones who accepted his new identity easier than the others.
Soon Madison started attending dance classes with her mom and all the girls from the dance academy welcomed her as one more of them.
Now Madison is already 7 years old and she is a happy and passionate girl. This story reminds us that support and acceptance is the first thing a person going through such a transition needs.
As in the case of a young transgender teen in Spain who was defended by his group of friends of a lifeguard who did not want to allow him to bathe in a public pool with his shirt on.