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Dad uses twitter account to hilariously showcase the struggles of parenting
A dad of four has become a media star on Twitter as @XplodingUnicorn
James Breakwell is the pseudonym of an Indiana comedian who writes Twitter jokes about raising his children on @XplodingUnicorn.
Breakwell's Twitter account has over 950,000 followers, all fans of his wry wit and tongue in cheek take on the challenges of being a modern father of 4.
Men and women related to Breakwell's particular brand of humor and in April 2016 @XplodingUnicorn went viral.
6-year-old: Who's on the phone?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2018
Me: The tooth fairy.
6: Why does she sound like Mom?
Me: All tooth fairies are moms.
6: *stands in awe of my endless tooth fairy knowledge*
“I've never been thrown out of a bar, but I got kicked out of a tea party for slurping my imaginary tea.”
James Breakwell
A tongue-in-cheek take on parenting
Breakwell has 4 daughters ranging in age from 8 to 2 years old, and the girls have pseudonyms too: Bettsy, Mae, Lucy, and Waffle.
His valiant struggle to cope with the challenges and demands of parenting ar his main inspiration for his tweets.
Read more about James Breakwell on our Twitter account @amomama_usa.
Me: *setting up a new robot vacuum*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2018
8-year-old: What should we name her?
Me: What makes you think it's a girl?
8: It does all the work everybody else should.
Me: *texting* I got the kids through their morning routine with no problems. Easy as could be.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 11, 2018
Wife: Cool. You can get them ready by yourself every morning.
Me: Please never leave town again.
His tweets are honest and inspiring to parents everywhere
Breakwell depicts the "warts and all" experience of fatherhood with humor, and some of his best posts are verbatim quotes of his conversations with his girls.
Me: What did you do at preschool today?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2018
4-year-old: Learned.
Me: Learned what?
4: Everything.
Education complete.
Balancing a happy marriage with parenting 4 young children
Breakwell touches on the challenge of balancing being a father with being a husband, and one of his funniest quotes was the definition of a parents' quicky: Locking the door and having a quick nap.
4-year-old: *puts one Care Bear away from all the others*
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2018
Me: Why'd you do that?
4: He doesn't care.
Poor Apathy Bear.
Wife: *leaving for a business trip* Do you know what to do if you have trouble with the kids?
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2018
Me: Don't call you.
Wife: Right. Not my problem.
[finds a picture of a cute baby pig that would make a perfect addition to our family]
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2018
Me: What do you see?
Wife: Divorce.
Me: *puts the pig picture away*
My 4-year-old said, "You can't stop me, I'm made of bones," and I just let her go because I've never heard anything so metal in my life.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 10, 2018
Adulthood officially begins when you stop using your parents' Netflix account and start using your own.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 9, 2018
My 2-year-old has never told me, "Yes, sir," but today she dropped a "Yeah, man," so I feel like I'm doing all right.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 9, 2018
Apocalyptical parenting hacks for the end of the world
Apart from his constant work on his Twitter account, Breakwell wrote and published a book on the 10th of October of 2017 entitled "Only Dead on the Inside: A Parent's Guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse."
The book was released to critical acclaim for its acerbic wit and elegant prose. The premise of the book is that all survivors of a Zombie Apocalypse are depicted as single, unencumbered adult.
But how would the hero of such a story cope with finding diapers, formula and micromanaging tantrums and lost teddy bears? The book was a best seller and has boosted Breakwell's following on Twitter
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