Scoring system every man should use to make his woman happier

This is a simple guide and a useful checklist that a man can use to see how much he scores in terms of keeping his woman happy.

Keeping one’s partner happy is not always an easy task. One must know what to expect and how best to meet his partner’s expectation.

So, staying as close as possible to these set of guidelines on a daily basis might help a man score a lot of good points in the eyes of his partner.

The guide and instruction required for keeping a woman happy is divided into several sections, which are as follows:

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1) SIMPLE DUTIES

1. You go out to buy her flowers: +5
2. But return with beer: -5
3. You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
4. You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing: 0
5. You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something: +5
6. You pummel it with a six iron: +10
7. It’s her cat: -10

2) SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

1. You stay by her side the entire party: 0
2. You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking buddy: -2
   • Named Tiffany: -4
   • Tiffany is a dancer: -6
   • Tiffany has implants: -8

3) SATURDAY AFTERNOONS

1. You visit her parents: +1
2. You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
3. You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
4. And the television is off: -6
5. You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear: -6
6. And you didn’t even go to college: -10
7. And it’s not really your underwear: -15

4) HER BIRTHDAY

1. You take her out to dinner: 0
2. You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar: +1
3. Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
4. And it’s all-you-can-eat night: -3
5. It’s a sports bar, it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team: -10
6. You give her a gift: 0
7. You give her a gift, and it’s a small appliance: -10
8. You give her a gift, and it’s not a small appliance: +1
9. You give her a gift, and it isn’t chocolate: +2
10. You give her a gift that you’ll be paying off for months: +30
11. You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
12. With her credit card: -30
13. And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: -40

5) THOUGHTFULNESS

1. You forget to pick her up at the bus station: -25
2. Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
3. And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50

6) A NIGHT OUT WITH YOUR PALS

1. You have a few beers: -9
2. For every beer after three, -2 again
3. And miss curfew by an hour: -12
4. You get home at 3 a.m.: -20
5. You get home at 3 a.m. smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
6. And not wearing any pants: -40
7. Is that a tattoo? -200

7) A NIGHT OUT, JUST THE TWO OF YOU

1. You go see a comic: +2
2. He’s crude and sexist: -2
3. You laugh: -5
4. You laugh too much: -10
5. She’s not laughing: -15
6. You laugh harder: -25

8) DRIVING

1. You lose the directions on a trip: -4
2. You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
3. You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
4. You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals: -25
5. She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60

9) COMMUNICATION

1. When she wants to talk, you listen, displaying a concerned expression: +20
2. When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
3. You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television: +10
4. She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep: -10