Story of man who's forced to choose between saving his baby or bleeding wife is heartbreaking
A man had to make the hardest choice of his life: to save his wife or his newborn baby's life. And while the results were not as he expected, he said he did the right thing.
Frederick Connie, from Littleton Colorado, went through the joy of welcoming his baby girl only to be heartbroken hours later while grieving his wife. Keyvonne Connie died soon after giving birth.
Connie's due date was set for January, but the morning of November 30, she began bleeding uncontrollably at home. Frederick said he panicked at the sight of seeing his wife covered in blood.
“I’m like, are you OK? And I see blood everywhere.”
The couple immediately went to the hospital, and after checking what was wrong, the doctor told Frederick that he had to make a choice about saving the life of his wife and lose their baby, or save their daughter but lose his wife.
“It was either give her the surgery first and maybe save her life, but you’re going to lose your daughter. Or your daughter can be saved but there’s a chance you might lose your wife.”
Frederick knew what he had to do, and decided to make his wife undergo an emergency C-section to save the baby, hoping that she would be saved in the process as well. However, things didn't go as he hoped.
After delivering the premature baby, Kevyonne was wide awake for some time, enough to see pictures of her little girl and choose a name for the baby alongside her husband. They named her Angelique Kevyonne Connie, and Frederick calls her "Pooder" for short.
However, although everything seemed to be going well, Kevyonne's health immediately deteriorated.
“Literally all of her insides just went all over the bed and the floor. They tried [to save her] and her heart couldn’t take it. She died before they could even get her to the surgery.”
She lost her life on the same day they welcomed their baby girl. And while he's going through an undescribable pain, Frederick knows he did the right thing.
“I’m glad I made that decision because in the end if Keyvonne probably could have survived she would have hated me for the rest of my life because I knew how, she felt about kids,” he said. “I gave her her mom’s name. She’s going to know her mom. I’ll make sure of that.”
Connie was the only man with a room in the labor and delivery area, but the mothers there were not bothered by his presence at all. Pooder is still fighting her own array of health issues and is expected to stay in the hospital for a while.
The girl is being fed with donated milk and nurses have bought her clothes to wear. A first-time dad, Frederick said that although he knows it'll be a difficult journey, he is willing to learn.
“I’m [ignorant] on changing diapers but I’m going to learn. I’m going to be a full-time father to her.”
It's been rough days for Connie, who revealed he will fix his wife's funeral after Pooder gets out of the hospital. Having to pay for both medical bills and a funeral has been challenging for him financially, as they do not have a lot of money to spare.
“I’m financially not OK. This debt is like piling up and I have to bury my wife, my daughter coming into the world, it’s so high right now.”
However, Frederick is set in providing nothing but the best for his daughter and says that he will sell all of his assets and will sleep in his car if he needs to for him to take care of his daughter.
THE CRISIS OF CHILDBIRTH DEATHS
Keyvonne is just one of the many women that lose their lives every day while giving birth to their babies.
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Foundation, approximately 700 women across the U.S die each year as a result of pregnancy or pregnancy-related complications. Most of the times, the women give some kind of sign of discomfort but are ignored by professionals and dismissed.
Others, the personnel is not properly trained to deal with an emergency situation that could be easily prevented.
“You can’t educate your way out of this problem. You can’t health-care-access your way out … There’s something inherently wrong with the system that’s not valuing the lives of black women.” –@DrRaegan, last month https://t.co/3hB83RFpLj— Cecile Richards (@CecileRichards) January 10, 2018
A disturbing case in point: 👇🏻 https://t.co/UXELCWoIGe
On top of that, several studies have proved that African American women have a higher risk to suffer childbirth complications and subsequently die than the rest of the female population. The Center for American Progress reports:
“African American women are three to four times more likely to die from childbirth than non-Hispanic white women, and socioeconomic status, education, and other factors do not protect against this disparity.”
A known example that could have a sad ending but didn't, is Serena Williams.
Listen closely. If Serena Williams with all her money, power, access & reach had her voice IGNORED - what do you think happens to poor, immigrant Black women? https://t.co/IUgnU28sFF— Historian by Training (@LeslieMac) January 10, 2018
SERENA WILLIAMS' ALMOST DIED GIVING BIRTH
The tennis champion has been open about the complications she faced after bringing his first child, daughter Alexis Olympia, to the world. Williams, a multimillionaire athlete, and celebrity was also dismissed by her doctors at first.
She had to demand a nurse to get her a CT scan and a heparin drip knowing her body like no one else, and still, the nurses didn't listen.
But at her insistence, they complied, and that is when for the doctors realized that she had an internal hemorrhage, a product of blood clots in her lungs that caused her to cough way too hard, damaging her internal stitches. She had to undergo two surgeries and was spend the first six weeks of motherhood in bed.
Williams' story of post-birth complications made some people realize, or admit, that her experience backed up a ProPublica investigation on "how medical professionals often ignore the plight of pregnant African American women in the United States."
Williams has spoken up on behalf of the mothers who have lost their lives, and she hopes her story can help shine a light on how serious the problem of black woman dying after giving birth is.
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