February 20, 2019
Who doesn't love a good pet joke with a surprising twist at the end? Especially if nobody gets hurt in it and the story makes you seriously laugh out loud.
The joke below has all of those aspects and the ending will take you completely by surprise. Enjoy!
A guy is driving around some backwoods and sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house:
"Talking Dog For Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him that the dog is in the backyard. The curious guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks, jokingly.
"Yep," the Lab nonchalantly replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all, they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping."
The guy's mouth dropped open.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger, so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
The guy nods completely captivated by the dog's tale.
"You know how it is...I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is absolutely amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars?!" the guy exclaims, stupefied. "This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??!"
"Because the dog's a stinking liar. He never did any of that stuff!"
Did that joke make you laugh as much as it did us? Here's another funny dog joke...
A man walks into a bar with a small dog under his arm and sits down at the counter, placing the dog on the stool next to him.
The bartender says, "Sorry, pal. No dogs allowed."
The man says, "But this is a special dog -- he talks!"
"Yeah, right," says the bartender. "Now get out of here before I throw you out."
"No, wait," says the man. "I'll prove it." He turns to the dog and asks, "What do you normally find on top of a house?"
"Roof!" says the dog, wagging his tail.
"Listen, pal..." says the bartender. "Wait," says the man, "I'll ask another question." He turns to the dog again and asks, "What's the opposite of soft?"
"Ruff!" exclaims the dog.
"Quit wasting my time and get out of here," says the bartender.
"One more chance," pleads the man. Turning to the dog again, he asks, "Who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?"
"Ruth!" barked the dog.
"Okay, that's it!" says the bartender, and physically throws both man and dog out the door and onto the street.
Turning to the man, the dog shrugs and says....
"Maybe I should have said Joe Dimaggio?"
Please share these hilarious dog jokes with your friends and click here for another joke if you're still in the mood for laughter.
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