Rude Lawyer Insults Stewardess on Plane
Revenge is a dish best eaten cold - on in this case, with garlic butter and pickles on the side.
Most jokes carry a hint of truth - mostly, that's what makes them funny - and this story of a sweet stewardess getting the best of an arrogant, successful lawyer is hilarious.
A FRIENDLY STEWARDESS AND A SURLY LAWYER
A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a stewardess to take care of them for him.
The stewardess smiled, took the box of crabs and said, “No problem Sir, we’ll put it in the crew’s freezer.”
The man raised a finger at her and said, “Oh, you say ‘no problem’ now, but I’m holding you personally responsible to keep this box frozen and intact. I’m a lawyer at a big firm, and if this box thaws even a bit, I’m going to make your life a living hell. So don’t you ‘no problem’ me – if anything happens, you’re gonna be the one who has a problem, not me.”
Needless to say, the stewardess was annoyed by his attitude, but she just nodded and loaded the box into the plane’s freezer.
Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin:
“Attention passengers, we are about to land. But first, would the man who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand.”
Not one hand went up… so she took the crabs home and ate them.
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KISSING IT BETTER
A couple decided they need a marriage counselor after 20 years of marriage. The counselor asks the couple:
“What is the problem?”
The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 20 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.
The counselor turns to the husband and says:
"This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"
For a moment, the husband seems lost in thought. Then he finally replies:
"Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish."