logo

A Retired Man Went into the Social Security Office to Apply for Benefits

author
May 13, 2019
03:07 P.M.

Here's a story about a retired senior man who went into the social security office to apply for benefits that will get you giggling.

Advertisement

This joke, taken from Unijokes, goes...

A retired gentleman went into the social security office to apply for Social Security. After waiting in line for a long time, he got to the counter.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home.

He told the woman that he was very sorry, but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. “Will I have to go home and come back now?” he asks.

The woman says, “Unbutton your shirt.” So he opens his shirt revealing lots of curly silver hair.

Advertisement

She says, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me.” And she processes his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the Social Security office. She said, “You should have dropped your pants, you might have qualified for disability, too.”

Laughed out loud? Here's another joke about an old man...

An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

Advertisement

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help."

"She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing."

"We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."

Please share these stories for your loved ones who might need a good laugh today.

Advertisement
info
Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories!
By subscribing, you agree to our Privacy Policy
Advertisement
Related posts

On Valentine's Day, Woman Performs CPR on a Homeless Man and Soon Wakes up a Millionaire — Story of the Day

February 02, 2024

Rich Girl Meets Her Ex Begging on the Street – Story of the Day

November 09, 2023

Newborn Baby Cries All Day No Matter What Parents Do, after a While They Check His Crib – Story of the Day

February 18, 2024

On Valentine’s Day, Woman Performs CPR on a Homeless Man and Soon Wakes up a Millionaire — Story of the Day

February 08, 2024

Rich Teen Laughs at Homeless until She Finds out Her Own Fate — Story of the Day

April 02, 2024

Enraged Husband Hunts for His Wife in Hospital – Story of the Day

December 22, 2023

Woman is Talking to Her Boss on a Video Call When Her Angry Husband Bursts in – Story of the Day

November 09, 2023

Husband Constantly Mocks Unemployed Wife for Doing Nothing, Finds a Note after Ambulance Takes Her Away — Story of the Day

February 09, 2024

Husband Constantly Mocks Unemployed Wife for Doing Nothing, Finds a Note after Ambulance Takes Her Away — Story of the Day

March 13, 2024

At Her Husband's Funeral, Woman Bends to Kiss Him for the Last Time and Sees Him Blinking — Story of the Day

January 17, 2024

Patients Reveal the Most Awkward Doctor Visit They've Ever Had

January 10, 2024

Robber Tries to Rob a Wealthy Businessman and Ends Up Saving His Life – Story of the Day

November 14, 2023

3 Stories about Cheaters Who Faced Karma

February 22, 2024

My Son Heard His Mom Screaming & Strangers’ Voices, Urging Me Home — What I Discovered Was beyond Belief

February 28, 2024