An Old Lady Walks into The Bank of America with a Huge Bag of Money

In today’s joke of the day, an old lady gave new meaning to the word “industrious” when she showed a bank president how lucrative deals get made.

One morning bright and early, an old lady named Sue walked up to the receptionist at the Bank of America with a big bag of money.

A receptionist with a shocked expression. | Source: Shutterstock.

A receptionist with a shocked expression. | Source: Shutterstock.

With a look of shock, the receptionist eyed the money bag while Sue asked to see the bank’s president so she could deposit the cash. The lady told Sue of the bank president’s unavailability, but Sue stubbornly refused to move an inch until she could meet with him.

The receptionist gave Sue one look and realized it to be in everyone’s best interest to make the meeting happen sooner, rather than later. And so she got up and disappeared into the office for a few minutes, after which she returned with good news, “You are in luck, Sue, the president, will see you now!”

A woman smiling as she hugs a big bag of money. | Source: Shutterstock.

A woman smiling as she hugs a big bag of money. | Source: Shutterstock.

Tired from carrying the bag around, Sue merely let slump down on the floor next to her as she sat down opposite the bank president, who watched her entry into his office with trepidation. “How can I help you, madam?” the bank president asked.

"I would like to open a new account and deposit this money,” Sue replied. His eyes ran over the bag as he tried to gauge the amount with a raised eyebrow. “How much money would you like to deposit?” he asked.

A concerned looking businessman. | Source: Shutterstock.

A concerned looking businessman. | Source: Shutterstock.

Without hesitation, Sue answered as she tapped with her hand on the bag, “$180,000, please.” With it being such a large sum of cash, the bank president wanted to know where the money came from and questioned Sue, “How did you get this much cash, Madam?”

She flashed him a smile and answered, “Oh, it's nothing illegal, I make bets.” Confused by her answer, the bank president asked, “What kind of bets?”

“For example,” Sue began. “I bet you that your right hand will taste like eggs, just your right hand and not your left. Let's meet again tomorrow at 9:00 am. If I'm right, you will owe me $25,000. If I lose, I'll pay you $10,000!"

A man with a surprised look on his face. | Source: Shutterstock.

A man with a surprised look on his face. | Source: Shutterstock.

With a good sense of money, being the bank president, he knew it to be a good deal and accepted the bet almost immediately. "Okay then, I'll come around 9:00 AM tomorrow with my lawyer,” Sue said. “Don't try to dodge the bet!”

Sue’s confidence planted a seed of doubt that rapidly grew in the bank president’s mind as the day progressed. Even though he didn’t like or have eggs in the house, it still made him wonder and often smelled his hand to make sure they smell normal.

Time passing for smelly businessman. | Source: Shutterstock.

Time passing for smelly businessman. | Source: Shutterstock.

The following morning Sue and her lawyer showed up at the nervous bank president’s office at precisely 9 am as agreed and got straight down to business. “Can I check your hands now, Sir?” Sue asked the bank president. “Yes, go ahead,” he answered.

Without further ado, Sue took his right hand and sniffed it for a few seconds before gave it a few licks to confirm. Her lawyer, who had been watching in quiet anticipation, then started banging his head against the wall.

While the bank president felt a sense of relief and delight at his $10,000 win, he also found the lawyer’s actions worrisome and asked Sue what is wrong with him.

A businessman banging his head against the wall. | Source: Shutterstock.

A businessman banging his head against the wall. | Source: Shutterstock.

Before Sue could utter a word, the lawyer said, "She had a bet with me for $100,000. I can't believe I lost. She said she would be licking the hands of the president of the Bank of America at 9:00 AM today!"

Thankfully the funny bone can only be tickled. Another joke about two friends will keep the laughter going as they found out how a lack of practical experience can foil even the best of plans when they started a bungee jumping business.