'I'm a Stay-At-Home Mom and My Husband Now Tells Me I Have to Explain How I Spend 'His' Money'

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Dear Amomama,

I'm a stay-at-home mom, and now my husband has started telling me I have to account for every cent I spend because it's HIS money.

I have two children, a boy who is now 3, and a girl who is 4 months old. When I became pregnant with my son, my husband and I decided that I would stay home and raise the children - and possibly homeschool them.

At that time I had a successful career as a creative director in advertising and earned more than he did, but I agreed and we talked about how our contributions to the family would be equal in value.

At first, everything was fine, but shortly after my daughter's birth, my husband got a promotion and a massive raise.

He is now earning more than ever, but he has now become controlling and penny-pinching.

If I take my son for icecream I have to ask for a receipt. Every cent I spend with my debit card has to be explained at the end of the month. Last month, I wanted to buy myself a new outfit, something sexy.

I have been feeling like a blimp for the last 4 years, and now that my figure is nearly back to normal, I wanted to celebrate.

So I bought this gorgeous little black number and invited him out to dinner. When he saw the dress (Anne Klein) he went ballistic and asked how dare I spend so much money on myself without his permission!

Since I'd bought the dress with my own money, I snapped back and told him so. He then told me that HE's carrying the weight of the household and that as a dependant I owe him respect and GRATITUDE.

I have a tidy little sum saved up from my working days and have been saving it up for a rainy day, but now I'm tempted to starting using that money for my day-to-day needs.

I can't believe I'm in this situation. How can this be happening to me? I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to my husband, asked him to go to couple's therapy but he point-blank refuses.

My mother has told me it will only get worse, and that he is abusive and that I should leave him before it gets worse.

Please, I don't know what to do! I can't believe this happening. Until my daughter was born, my husband was loving and considerate and charming. He has become a stranger to me.

Please, has anyone else gone through this? I need some advice.

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