In today’s joke of the day, we compiled three jokes centered around lawyers and the funny situations that arise because of their profession, from the inexperienced to the seasoned pro.
Late one afternoon, Lance the butcher saw a dog come into his shop. As he ran around the counter to chase him out, the dog grabbed a roast off the table and bolted out the door.
Lance recognized the dog as the Smith’s dog - his lawyer neighbors two doors down. So after he cooled down some, Lance decided to his neighbor and said, “Sorry to bother, but I would like to ask a quick question. If your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?”
The lawyer responded, “Of course, what did the roast cost?” and Lance answered, “$7.98.”
Three days later, Lance received a check in the mail for $7.98. Neatly stapled to the envelope containing the cheque, was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.
After David’s best friend suffered a tragic loss, he decided to get his affairs in order. He took out a life insurance policy and realized he needed a will, so he went to his lawyer.
"I would like to make a will, but I don't know exactly how to go about it," David said. His lawyer gave an amicable smile and said, “No problem, leave it all to me.”
David, somewhat flustered and upset, said, "Well, I knew you were going to take the biggest slice, but I would like to leave a little to my children too!"
Patrick had just passed the bar exam and opened up his first office. While hard at work in his office looking for possible clients, his secretary announced that Mr. Stapleton had arrived and asked to see him.
Because he thought Mr. Stapleton to be a new client, he told his secretary to show him right in. He wanted to make a great impression on his new client and grabbed the phone just as Mr. Stapleton walked into his office and yelled into it, “Absolutely not! You tell them I will not settle this case for less than five hundred thousand dollars. Don't bother me again until that amount has been agreed to!"
Patrick slammed the phone down and immediately greeted Mr. Stapleton with a smile and said, “How do you do Mr. Stapleton. What can I do to help you?”
Mr. Stapleton replied, “Hi, I'm from the phone company. I'm here to connect your phone."
Similarly, in another joke of the day, we shared a few funnies about mothers-in-law to brighten any mood.