September 22, 2019
A guy took his blonde girlfriend on a date to see her first football game ever. They had a perfect view of the game as they sat right behind their team's bench.
After the final whistle, he asked her if she enjoyed the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Shocked, her date asked:
"What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
A wealthy man had an affair with an Italian woman for many years. One night, she told the man that she was expecting a baby.
Worried about his reputation, the man said he would pay a considerable sum of money if the woman went to Italy and secretly had the child there.
If she raised the child in Italy, he would also pay child support until the child turned 18. The woman agreed.
"But how will I let you know when the baby is born?" she asked.
"We'll keep it discreet," said the man. "Mail me a postcard and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. Then I'll organize the payments."
A few months later, the rich man came home from work to find his wife in the kitchen.
"There's a postcard on the table for you," she told him.
The man rushed to the table to get the postcard. After reading it, he turned white and fainted. His wife picked up the postcard to see what had given her husband such a fright. The card read,
"Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without!."
July 15, 2019