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October 20, 2019

Daily Joke: 5 Funny Jokes about Retirement

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When a person retires, it is usually a fun occasion filled with laughter and joy. Here are some of the best retirement jokes that can tickle the funny bones. 

Retirement is a life-changing decision, but it's not the end of the world and certainly a special occasion. It is an experience that is worth celebrating with a light-heart and some good laughs.

These five retirement jokes will have you laughing out loud!

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RETIREMENT GIFTS

On Ben's last day of work before retirement, his boss decided to throw him a little party and gave a speech to thank him for his service for two decades. 

"Ben is a man who does not know the meaning of an impossible task. Not only that, but he also doesn't know what a lunch break is! Don't even get me started with how he doesn't know what the word "no" means...," he said.

The boss continued: "So today is the day we celebrate him. As a parting gift, we bought him a dictionary so that he can finally find out the meaning of whatever words he doesn't know."

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A GROWN UP SON

Jack was an ideal son who loved his parents unconditionally. In fact, he lived with them even though he was 30 years old. 

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The only problem, however, was the fact that he was unemployed so his parents looked after him and took care of the finances. 

One day, Jack's father thought it was high time his son got a place of his own try to be independent. So he talked to his son 

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"I think it's time that you got your own place, son. You need to start a family of your own. Besides, we’ve just paid off our mortgage and now your mother and I want to enjoy our retirement," said the father. 

After a minute of pondering, Jack finally replied: "I completely understand, dad. You deserve to enjoy retired life."

Jack's parents were happy that he finally understood them. Jack was equally happy with how the conversation went down.

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“The first thing tomorrow, I’m going to start looking for a nursing home for them,” he thought. 

KILLING TIME

A woman wanted to ask her retired friend about what she did after bidding farewell to her full-time job. 

"Now that you have all the time in the world, what do you do?" asked the woman. 

"Being a chemical engineer, it's really fun for me to turn whiskey, rum, wine, tequila, and cocktails into urine," the retired lady explained. 

Source: startsat60

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HAPPY ON A MONDAY

A: What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? 

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B: Geez, I have no idea.

A: Retired!

RETIREMENT DREAMS

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A woman came home to find her retired husband smashing flies with a rolled-up newspaper. 

Wife: "What are you doing?" 

Husband: "Oh just swatting flies - I got three males and two females so far."

Wife: "What?! How do you now their gender?"

Husband: "It's simple logic. 3 flies were on the beer and the other two were on the phone."

Here's another story of how three nurses decided to play a joke on a doctor they worked for. 

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