Daily Joke: New Employee Looks Confused as He Stands in Front of a Paper Shredder
Being new to a job can be very stressful. For starters, you have no idea how things work, and having the simplest of things explained to you can be embarrassing. Here are a couple of jokes about working in an office.
A new employee was standing beside and paper shredder with a confused look on her face. A secretary noticed him and came up to offer some help.
"Need some help?" she asked. The employee looked happy and said, "Thank you! I can't seem to figure out how this thing works." The secretary smiled as she took the fat bundle of paper from the employee's hand and shoved it in the shredder.
GONE IN SECONDS
The machine whirred and destroyed the documents in an instant. "See, that's all there is to it. This thing is always on, so all you have to do is put it in," the secretary said.
The employee smiled and said, "Well, that's very convenient. So, how long will it take before I get the copies for this quarter's reports you just put in?"
A SPEEDING VIOLATION
A lawyer was speeding down a street to a meeting. On his way, he ran a stop sign, and a police officer nearby saw him. The police officer started his patrol car and took off behind the lawyer.
The sirens turned on, and the lawyer knew he was going to get late for the meeting. He thought he could outsmart a West Virginia police officer because he was a big shot lawyer from New York.
WHAT NOT TO DO AT A STOP SIGN
The lawyer was pulled over, and the officer came up beside his window. "Sir, can I see your license and registration please?" The lawyer said, "What for?" The officer looked at the lawyer and said, "You ran a stop sign about a hundred meters back."
The lawyer replied, "I slowed down and looked both sides for oncoming traffic." The officer explained that it technically is a violation because he didn't come to a complete stop.
THE LAWYER BRINGS UP TECHNICALITY
The lawyer then smirked and said, "If you can show me the technical difference between slowing down and stopping, I'll give you the papers. If not, you'll have to let me go." He even agreed to get a ticket.
The officer nodded his head and said, "That sounds fair. Please step outside the vehicle." Once the lawyer stepped out, the officer drew his nightstick and started beating the lawyer.
As the lawyer screamed in pain and begged him to stop, the officer asked, "Do you want me to stop or slow down?"
Here's another joke about an older man awaiting surgery.