April 11, 2020
It's easy to underestimate a person who is missing one or more of his senses. One woman did just that and in the end she had to pay for it — literally!
A woman entered a store to purchase a fishing rod and reel. Not knowing much about the equipment, she grabbed one and went to the front counter.
An employee stood at the register wearing a pair of dark shades. The woman tells him: " Excuse me, sir, could you tell me anything about this here rod and reel?"
The man answers, "Sure ma'am, but I'm blind so you're gonna have to put it on the counter and then I'll give you all the information you need based on the sound it makes."
The woman is doubtful but she puts the item on the counter anyway. The man then gets into it.
"This here is a 6' graphite rod with Zebco 202 reel and a 10 lb test line. It's pretty good all around. It's $20.00," he says.
The woman is impressed, saying, "That's incredible that you can give me all that information just from it dropping onto the counter. And I think it's just what I need so I'm gonna buy it."
The man walks over to get behind the register. While he does so, the woman lets out a fart.
She's embarrassed at first, but then realizes that the blind man can't tell who did it. He has no idea that she's the only one in the shop.
The man rings her up and says, "That will be $25.50. The woman is surprised. "Didn't you just say it was $20.00?" she asks.
The man responds, "Yes, ma'am, the road and reel is $20.00, plus the duck call is $3.00 and the catfish stink bait is $2.50!"
Often, a little humility goes a long way in keeping you protected, even when you think you're in the right. One officer learned the hard way.
A Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) officer arrived at a ranch in Texas and came upon the rancher.
The officer told him, "I need to inspect your ranch right now for illegally grown substances."
The rancher says, "Sure, but make sure you avoid going into that field over there," and he points out a location.
The DEA officer immediately gets riled up, saying, "Sir, I am fully back by the authority of the Federal Government."
He reached into the back pocket of his pants and removed his badge, which he boastfully held up for the rancher to see.
"Do you see this badge?" the officer asked. "This badge means I can go wherever I want. On any piece of land. With no questions asked or answers given."
The officer continued on: "Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"
The rancher nodded politely and apologized. He then continued doing some chores.
A brief while later, the rancher heard loud screams. He looked over and saw the DEA officer running at breakneck speed.
He was being chased by the rancher's large, brown Santa Gertrudis bull. The animal was gaining on the officer, who was terrified.
It clearly looked like the only outcome was that the officer would be gored by the bull. The rancher threw down all his tools and ran to the fence.
There, he cried loudly: "Your badge... show him your badge!"
Two rednecks were walking from different ends of a street towards each other. One was carrying a bag.
When they met up, one of them said. "Hey Jimmy, what's that you there in your bag?"
"Just some chickens," Jimmy replied.
Photo of two bearded workers smiling at camera while posing in production workshop | Photo: Getty Images
"If I guesses how many ya got, can I have one?"
"Shoot, if ya guess just right, I'll give you both of them?"
"Okay! Umm, I think it's five!"