3 Hilarious Jokes about Driving Fast Cars
Some men just love to show off their rides. The peak of success is often found in the purchase of a fast car that looks as good as it sounds. Here are three jokes about fast cars.
A young investment banker who had just found amazing financial success decided to go out and buy his dream car — a red Ferrari. He paid half a million dollars and took the ride out for its first spin.
The man ended up at a red light and had to stop. When he looked over, he saw an elderly man in a yellow Moped. The older man looked at the Ferrari and asked: "What kinda car is that ya got, Sonny?"
The young man answered: "A Ferrari GTO. It cost me $500,000!"
"Whoa, that's a lot of paper," said the old man as he tucked his thumbs against his suspender. "Why's it so expensive?" With pride, the young man answered, "Well, it goes up to 500 km/h!"
The Moped driver requested to look inside the Ferrari. "Sure, have a look," replied the young man. So the man puts his head into the window and takes in all the bells and whistles.
"Your car is pretty sweet for sure, but I'll stick with my Moped!" said the old man.
YOUNG MAN SHOWS WHAT HIS CAR CAN DO
Right then, the light changed to green, and the banker decides to show off his car's capabilities to the old man. He hits the gas and goes to 200 km/h in just half a minute.
Soon, he notices a yellow dot in his rearview mirror and it's getting closer. He slows down for a while to see what it is, only to catch the vehicle fly by him much faster.
"What on earth could go faster than my Ferrari?" the young man wonders. He floors his car once again and goes back to 200 km/h. Suddenly, he sees the yellow dot is the old man in his Moped.
Stunned, the young man goes even faster, reaching 275 km/h to pass the yellow car. He's feeling confident until he looks in the mirror again and sees the old man gaining on him.
The young man is baffled. He floors the accelerator to reach 320 km/h, only to see the Moped once again catching up behind him. He ends up red lining and is forced to stop.
Suddenly, the Moped crashed into the rear end of the Ferrari, destroying the entire back. The young man jumps out and finds that the old man is somehow still alive.
He runs up to him and says: "Oh my God! Is there anything I can do to help?" The old man, breathing hard, whispers to him:
"Unhook... my... suspenders... from.. your... side view mirror."
A MAN GETS CAUGHT SPEEDING
A man who'd just bought a new sports car was speeding down the road one day. Before long, he noticed flashing lights in his rearview mirror.
Instead of stopping, the man hit the gas and went up to 160 km/h. He soon came to his senses and slowed down.
He pulled over and the cop stopped behind him. The officer went up to the man's windows asked: "What were you thinking, going so fast like that?"
"Well," the man replied after some thought. "A few years ago a police officer took off with my wife." The cop responded, "And what's that got to do with anything?
"I thought you were bringing her back."
A RICH MAN CARVES UP SOME ROADS
A wealthy man was tearing up the streets with his brand new car. Uncaringly, he sped everywhere, including around a blind corner. He ended up ramming into an older vehicle and both vehicles fell into a ditch.
The rich man got out of his demolished ride and saw as an elderly man stepped out of the other, destroyed vehicle. He asked the older man if he needed to go to the hospital.
"No!" responded the man. "This is fantastic! We should celebrate the fact that we're alive. The man opened his car door and saw a box of Cuban cigars. "It's a miracle! My treasured cigars are still intact!"
He lit them, and the pair of gentlemen smoked the cigars. The old man went in again and got his bottle of Scotch and two glasses. "A toast to us! Such a tragic accident and we got out without a scratch!"
The man poured two tall glasses of the alcoholic drink and gave one to the man. They clinked, and the rich man immediately swallowed his liquid. He noticed that the old man hadn't drunk his, however.
"Aren't you going to drink that?" said the Porsche driver.
"Oh no, not until the police give you a breathalyzer."
A MAN IS TRIED FOR ROBBERY
It's two weeks into a high-profile criminal trial for a robbery and people are seated in a courtroom awaiting a verdict.
The judge looks over at the foreman and asks him, "Has the jury reached a verdict in the case?"
"Yes, we most certainly have, your honor," the designated foreman replies loudly.
"Would you please hand it over to me?" the judge says while motioning for the bailiff to go over and retrieve the slip.
After the judge silently reads the verdict to himself, he returns the slip to the bailiff who promptly gives it back to the foreman.
"Please read your verdict to the court," orders the judge.
"We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery," declares the foreman.
Cheers of joy sound loudly in the court as the family and friends of the defendant celebrate the win.
The man's attorney, smiling, looks at his client and asks, "So, how do you feel now that it's over?"
The defendant, wearing a confused look on his face, turns to his attorney and says:
"I'm kinda lost here. Does this mean that I have to give all the money back?"