April 30, 2020
It's hard to say how bright some criminals really are. Some of them come up with intricate schemes that certainly are impressive, but then the most important part — not getting caught — is somehow overlooked.
A MAN IS TRIED FOR ROBBERY
It's two weeks into a high-profile criminal trial for a robbery and people are seated in a courtroom awaiting a verdict.
The judge looks over at the foreman and asks him, "Has the jury reached a verdict in the case?"
"Yes, we most certainly have, your honor," the designated foreman replies loudly.
"Would you please hand it over to me?" the judge says while motioning for the bailiff to go over and retrieve the slip.
After the judge silently reads the verdict to himself, he returns the slip to the bailiff who promptly gives it back to the foreman.
THE VERDICT COMES OUT
"Please read your verdict to the court," orders the judge.
"We find the defendant Not Guilty of all four counts of bank robbery," declares the foreman.
Cheers of joy sound loudly in the court as the family and friends of the defendant celebrate the win.
The man's attorney, smiling, looks at his client and asks, "So, how do you feel now that it's over?"
The defendant, wearing a confused look on his face, turns to his attorney and says:
"I'm kinda lost here. Does this mean that I have to give all the money back?"
A MAN CONDUCTS AN INTERVIEW
One day, an office executive was interviewing a young man for a secretarial position.
The interviewer wanted to find out more about the man's personality.
He asked, "If you could have a conversation with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?"
The young man thought for a moment then answered:
"I'd have to say the living one."
THREE MEN SIT IN A BAR
One night, three men sat in a bar talking about their level of control over their wives. The first two men bragged for a long time about how they could pretty much get their wives to do anything.
After a while, they realized the third man was silent. "What about you?" they asked him. The third man said, "Last night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees, man."
The first two men were highly impressed. They asked: "What happened after?"
"She told me to come out from under the bed and fight like a man."
April 19, 2020