Three Funny Jokes about Taking It to Court
Courts are serious settings, but these three jokes about lawsuits will crack you up, so much so that you may never think of courts the same way again.
The first joke is about a young lawyer defending his wealthy businessman client. It was a complicated lawsuit and the lawyer thought he might have to do more than lawyering to win the case.
He thought he would send the judge a box of cigars, but decided to consult first a senior partner of his law firm. His idea shocked the partner, who said that if he sends the honorable judge a box of cigars, he would surely lose the case.
After a few weeks, the judge handed down a decision and it was in favor of the lawyer’s client. The partner congratulated the lawyer and told him that he was glad the lawyer did not send cigars to the judge. The lawyer replied:
“But I did send them. I just enclosed the plaintiff’s lawyer’s business card!”
If that story made you laugh hard, this next one will make you laugh even harder. An old rancher’s prize bull went missing and he was claiming that the bull must have been hit by the train.
He demanded payment from the railroad management. The lawyer representing the railroad approached the rancher and talked him into settling out of court.
Expert at doing such an offer, the big-city lawyer managed to get the rancher to agree on taking half of the amount he was asking. The lawyer made the rancher sign a document and then gave him a check.
Afterward, the lawyer, proud of what he had done, told the rancher the truth. He said that he would not have won the case because he did not have any witness to present.
The engineer was asleep and the fireman was in the caboose when the train passed through the ranch. The lawyer said: “I didn’t have one witness to put on the stand. I bluffed you!”
But he did not expect the old rancher’s reply: “Well, I’ll tell you, young feller, I was a little worried about winning that case myself, because that darned bull came home this morning.”
Don’t mess up with an old rancher! This last joke involves a more serious subject - murder - but the punchline will make you hurt your side from laughing.
A lawyer tried a novel trick to defend his client who was being accused of murder. The defendant was facing strong evidence against him. The only thing missing was the corpse.
During his closing statement, the lawyer announced that in a minute, the person presumed dead will show up in the courtroom. The jurors were shocked. They had their eyes on the door. But a minute passed and nobody walked in.
The lawyer then said that he was only bluffing and that because he saw the look of anticipation in the jurors’ face, that means they have a reasonable doubt about the murder being committed.
He then said that the jury should release a verdict of not guilty. To the lawyer’s disappointment, the jury pronounced a verdict of guilty a few minutes later. The lawyer asked why when he saw them look in anticipation at the door earlier during his trick.
The jury foreman replied: “Oh, we did look, but your client didn’t.”
What a smart jury! If you need some more laughs to make your day, check out this story about a woman who consults a lawyer about divorcing her husband.