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November 25, 2020

Daily Joke: Two Workmen Were Sitting by the Side of the Road

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Unless you are a novelist or poet, it’s always better to say things as clear and concise as possible, and the two protagonists of today’s joke learned it the hard way.

After a long shift, two workmen were sitting by a river on the side of the road. Eventually, they came up with the idea of making a sign that read: “The end is near! Turn yourself around before it’s too late.”

For a few minutes, they showed the sign to every vehicle that passed near them, and it was all right. That was until an angry person drove by and read the sign.

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The man was offended by the message and, apart from ignoring the workmen’s sign, he shouted at them: “Don’t mess with us, you crazy religious nitwits!”

A few seconds later, the workmen heard a big splash. Both men looked at each other, and one said:

“Probably we should and just written ‘Bridge Out!’”

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PROBLEMS IN THE ELDERLY

This joke reminds us of another one about three older men sitting at a café talking about what bothered them the most about being old.

The 80-year-old man, for example, said: “the thing that I hate the most is not being capable of having a good pee.” He went on to explain that he always spends 20 minutes trying, but “it dribbles and hurts.”

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After that, the 85-year-old man said: “the thing that I hate the most is not being capable of having a good bowel movement.” He went on the explain that he takes laxatives and drinks lots of water, but “it’s still a problem.”

Then, the 90-year-old man said: “I don’t deal with those problems!” He went on to explain that, each morning at 6:00 am, he has a good, long pee. At 6:30 am, he has a great bowel movement, too. He added:

“The thing that I hate the most is not being capable of waking up before 7:00 am.”

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WRONG NUMBER

Ready for another joke? This one is about a woman who wanted to call a record store but dialed the wrong number. As soon as a man picked up the phone, she said:

"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" 

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The man was clearly confused about the question, but since he didn’t have blue eyes, he answered with a “no.” He added, though, that he had a wife and eleven children. “Is that a record?” the woman wondered. The man replied:

“I don’t think so. But it’s as close as I want to get.”

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