November 25, 2020
Unless you are a novelist or poet, it’s always better to say things as clear and concise as possible, and the two protagonists of today’s joke learned it the hard way.
After a long shift, two workmen were sitting by a river on the side of the road. Eventually, they came up with the idea of making a sign that read: “The end is near! Turn yourself around before it’s too late.”
For a few minutes, they showed the sign to every vehicle that passed near them, and it was all right. That was until an angry person drove by and read the sign.
The man was offended by the message and, apart from ignoring the workmen’s sign, he shouted at them: “Don’t mess with us, you crazy religious nitwits!”
A few seconds later, the workmen heard a big splash. Both men looked at each other, and one said:
“Probably we should and just written ‘Bridge Out!’”
PROBLEMS IN THE ELDERLY
This joke reminds us of another one about three older men sitting at a café talking about what bothered them the most about being old.
The 80-year-old man, for example, said: “the thing that I hate the most is not being capable of having a good pee.” He went on to explain that he always spends 20 minutes trying, but “it dribbles and hurts.”
After that, the 85-year-old man said: “the thing that I hate the most is not being capable of having a good bowel movement.” He went on the explain that he takes laxatives and drinks lots of water, but “it’s still a problem.”
Then, the 90-year-old man said: “I don’t deal with those problems!” He went on to explain that, each morning at 6:00 am, he has a good, long pee. At 6:30 am, he has a great bowel movement, too. He added:
“The thing that I hate the most is not being capable of waking up before 7:00 am.”
Ready for another joke? This one is about a woman who wanted to call a record store but dialed the wrong number. As soon as a man picked up the phone, she said:
"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?"
The man was clearly confused about the question, but since he didn’t have blue eyes, he answered with a “no.” He added, though, that he had a wife and eleven children. “Is that a record?” the woman wondered. The man replied:
“I don’t think so. But it’s as close as I want to get.”
September 26, 2020