March 24, 2021
All marriages have their ups and downs, and sometimes couples need some time apart from each other. However, today's joke of the day is about a man who took a little too much time away from his wife.
Bob was understandably excited when he received his bonus along with his paycheque on a Friday afternoon, so naturally, he went out to celebrate with his friends on the thrilling Las Vegas Strip.
Before Bob knew it, he had spent all his cash partying and hadn't stepped foot in his home for two days. Returning home on a Sunday night, he knew he was in trouble with his wife, Suzanne, who had left him several angry messages and voice mails.
Angry young woman with arms folded. | Source: Shutterstock
Suzanne was livid when Bob walked into the house and immediately began screaming at him for his inconsiderate and irresponsible behavior. After what seemed like hours of yelling, she asked:
"How would you feel if you didn't see me for a couple of days?"
"I suppose I'd be just fine," Bob nonchalantly responded.
That must've been the wrong answer because Bob didn't see his wife at all for the following three days. However, on Thursday, he finally caught a glimpse of her through the corner of his eye as the swelling had finally gone down a little bit.
Maybe Bob learned his lesson, perhaps he didn't, but he certainly isn't the only man having trouble at home. The following joke is about John and his wife, Mary, as they approach their 40th wedding anniversary.
As John pondered about the best gift to give Mary for their milestone anniversary, he decided it would be easier to run his ideas past her. He asked her, "how about a stylish fur coat?" but she refused, so he went to the next suggestion.
"Perhaps you'd like a brand new Mercedez Benz?" he asked, but once again, she said no. "What about a new home in the country?" he continued but again, she rejected his proposal.
John became frustrated and asked her what exactly she wanted for their anniversary, to which she responded, "I want a divorce." John shook his head and replied,
"Sorry, honey, I wasn't planning to spend much money."
Still, John isn't the only man incapable of giving his wife the gift she wants. With Peter's wife's birthday coming up, he asked what gift she'd like and she responded, "I'd love to be six again."
"Easy enough," thought Peter as he began making plans for the big day. On her birthday, Peter took his wife to the local theme park and encouraged her to try all the rides in the park until she was dizzy and her stomach was turning.
After the thrilling afternoon, Peter took his wife to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal for her plus a chocolate shake. The pair ended their adventurous night by watching "Sonic The Hedgehog" at the cinema.
Peter was quite proud of himself for giving his wife exactly what she wanted for her birthday and when they finally got into bed that night, he asked her, "How was it being six for a day, honey?" She grunted and replied,
"I meant my size, you idiot!"
If these jokes gave you a chuckle, check out this one about what happened when two elderly couples had dinner together.