Today's jokes are about two separate groups of fruits and vegetables. One group of pals had a wild night out, while another argued about who was the better vegetable.
A FRUITY NIGHT OUT
After a busy and stressful day of work, three friends, Lemon, Potato, and Pea, decided to have a few drinks at their local bar to unwind. Their couple of drinks turned into a whole night of clubbing and hitting up different bars.
However, because they were so genetically different, alcohol affected them differently. Lemon became very acidic and had bad reflux. Potato, being very starchy, took each sip of alcohol in his stride, while Pea reacted to the sugar and became very hyperactive.
A display of vegetables. | Photo: Pixabay/congerdesign
The produce pals' night was coming to an end, so they decided to head home. As they walked and tried to catch a taxi, Pea started excitedly jumping up and down as he had just come up with a brilliant plan.
"Lads, lads, because we are all kind of round in shape, let's roll home instead of calling a taxi. We will get home much faster, we won't have to pay anything, and hey, it will be entertaining."
Before his two other friends could protest the idea, Pea had thrown himself down the hill. Potato and Lemon looked at each other, and both thought if they could not stop Pea, they might as well join him, so they followed suit and started rolling down the hill.
Pea zoomed down the hill. However, Lemon and Potato had a harder time. Lemon started shifting from side to side because of his oval shape, which only made his acid reflux even worse.
Because of Potato's irregular round shape, he bounced down the hill. Despite Lemon and Potato's nerve-wracking journey down the hill, they finally made it to the bottom where Pea was waiting for them.
However, the two were in bad shape. Potato was bruised and had a broken eye, while Lemon was spewing lemon juice all over the pavement and had begun chundering up seeds with the acidic juice.
Pea was jumping up and down and said to his friend, "That was amazing!! Let's walk back up the hill and do it again." Potato then looked at him and said, "Easy Peasy, Lemon's queasy."
One day the canned vegetable aisle at a supermarket was abuzz with chatter about which canned vegetable was the best product. One of the cans was twisting around, reading its label, and said, "Hey, I am 100% corn. How cool is that?"
A fancy can of Brussel sprouts laughed mockingly and said, "Who cares? You're just corn." Another can chimed, "Ha! Well, I'm not corn. I am heirloom tomatoes." A can of peas then said, "Good one, but you are not even organic. I am organic peas."
Before anyone else could respond, a can of artichoke hearts said, "Hey! Why must we define ourselves by these labels? Can't we all be vegetables?" So the cans never spoke, moved, or did anything for themselves ever again.