Audition of Woman in Her Late Forties as Ophelia Took an Unexpected Turn - Funny Story

Community theatre tends to be quite disappointing at times. Now imagine being the person that has to sift through all of the auditioners to find the mediocre (at best) cast that will bring the script to life.

It can only be tedious, and in the middle of one of the hottest summers in history, there is no doubt that most people would not choose to be stuck inside a hot and humid auditorium all day long.

For these two judges, it was almost the end of a day of particularly disappointing auditions when one judge said to the other, “Pay special attention to this next audition.” The other judge looked at the resume and saw that the woman owned five KFCs.

“What are we going to do with a woman who owns five KFCs as the Ophelia to our Hamlet?” she asked, exasperated. However, before the other judge could answer, they heard the thundering steps of the woman approaching the stage.

The first judge was skeptical and didn’t believe that this woman, who had minimal acting experience and was instead a franchisee, could be Ophelia, especially because Ophelia was timid. This woman seemed confident in her walk.

However, when the judge looked up, she was enchanted by the woman’s beauty, and when the woman spoke, she found herself truly encapsulated by the woman who stepped toward the judges and asked simply, “Are you ready?”

The judges confirmed that they were ready, and the woman told them which scene she would be reading from and that she would need someone to read the part of Hamlet. The first judge immediately volunteered.

The woman spoke and acted all of her lines perfectly, and the judges were more than impressed with her. The judge reading the part of Hamlet even found it difficult to act as well as she should have because the woman’s performance was so good.

The woman’s performance was so good that the judge felt like going up onto the stage and consoling her because the scene was one in which Hamlet breaks Ophelia’s heart.

The woman then approached the judge as if she was judging them and asked how the auditions were going. They said the auditions were going okay but that she was excellent and by far one of the best auditions they had seen all day.

The woman then told the judges to let her know as soon as they could whether or not she had gotten the role because if she did she would need to hire a few more branch managers for her KFCs while she was away.

The judges packed up at the end of the day and decided they had a solid cast list that would do well, even though their Hamlet was a little weaker than their Ophelia, which was not ideal.

A co-judge asked the first judge if she would like to grab a bite to eat to celebrate the cast, to which she replied, “No thanks, I’m determined to find fair Ophelia at one of five KFCs.”