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Daily Joke: Man Buys a Talking Centipede from a Pet Store

Laura Beatham
Jul 11, 2021
08:30 P.M.
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Today's jokes are all about people who visited pet stores looking for different animals, including one man who purchased an insect, a girl looking for bunnies, and a man asking for an interesting pet.



One day, a man visited a pet store. As he looked at the different pets available, the sales assistant said, "Hey, we have a talking centipede!" "No ways!" responded the man. "Centipedes can't talk."

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The sales assistant promised it could talk, so he purchased the centipede and took it home. Later that evening, he went up to the centipede's tank and said, "Hey mate, I'm heading to the pub. Fancy a couple of pints?"

A centipede. | Photo: Pixabay/GLady


The centipede did not respond. So the man headed to the pub, a little upset, but reasoned that perhaps the centipede was still too shy to speak to him. The next day, he again asked the centipede if he wanted to go to the pub.

The insect again did not respond. The man headed to the pub and cursed the sales assistant for selling him the centipede. The next day, on a whim, he went up to the centipede's tank again.

The man said, "Hey mate, I'm heading to the pub. Fancy a couple of pints?" The centipede then said, "I heard you the first time. I'm just putting my shoes on."



A little girl went to a pet store and said to the owner, "Hey do you have any bunnies?" The owner said, "Of course." He then walked to the part of the store where the bunny cage was.

He stood next to the rabbit hutch and said: "We have all sorts of adorable bunnies. We have these very fluffy white rabbits, or this cute spotted white and black one or even this little brown one."


The owner added, "It depends on what kind of rabbit you want. Did you have one in mind?" The girl looked at the owner and said, "I don't think my snake will mind what the bunnies look like."


A man went into a pet store and asked the owner if they had any amazing but cheap pets. The owner said, "Well, we have a talking fox that you can have for $20." The man said, "What do you mean? Foxes can't talk."

As he said that, a fox jumped out from behind the counter and said, "I can talk. In fact, I have authored and published three novels, and I climbed Mount Everest for the second time last week."

The man was amazed. He asked the owner, "This fox is amazing, but why are you selling him for only $20?" The owner responded, "Well, I am tired of all the lies."