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Daily Joke: Witness to a Robbery Calls the Police to Tell Them about the Incident

Laura Beatham
Jul 18, 2021
11:45 A.M.

Today's joke is sure to make you laugh! It is all about a witness stuck in a bank during a robbery, and he tried to call 911 for help!

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A bank was being robbed, and a worried citizen called 911. There is the transcript of their 911 call.

911 operator: Hello 911, what is your emergency?

Photo: Shutterstock

Photo: Shutterstock

Citizen: There are some people over here robing the bank.

911 operator: Sir, I have your location using your cellphone. Where's the bank?

Citizen: It's the Wellsfargo on Main St.

911 operator: Are you inside the building?

Citizen: Yeah, I'm hiding, but they have hostages.

911 operator: Okay, sir, stay on the line.

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Police are on their way.

911 operator to police: All units are advised we have 211 in progress at the Wellsfargo on main. I repeat an armed robbery in progress.

911 operator: Okay, sir, where are you hiding?

Citizen: Um... I'm hiding in the bathroom.

911 operator: Okay. Great. I want you to stay there. Don't move. The police are on the way.

911 operator: Do you know how many other people are in the building?

Citizen: Yeah, I think there are, like, 16 or 17 people

.911 operator: Do you know how many robbers there are?

Citizen: There are three of them, but they have weird names.

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911 operator: Weird names?

Citizen: Yes. Who, What, and Where. Who is holding people hostage. What's in the safe with the money, and Where is the driver.

911 operator: I'm sorry? I don't understand.

Citizen: Who is holding people hostage. What is in the safe with the money, and Where is the driver.

911 operator: I don't know, sir.

Citizen: I didn't ask you. I'm telling you.

911 operator: So who's holding people hostage?

Citizen: Exactly.

911 operator: No, no, no, who's holding people hostage?

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Citizen: Yeah yeah ... I said that.

911 operator: You told me he was armed?

Citizen: Yeah, Who.

911 operator: The guy holding people hostage?

Citizen: Yeah, him.

911 operator: What's the name of the guy holding the hostages?

Citizen: No! What's in the safe with the money.

911 operator: What's in the safe? I'm having a hard time understanding you. Who's in the safe?

Citizen: No, no, Who's holding the hostages.

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911 operator: Okay, and you mentioned a driver?

Citizen: Yeah.

911 operator: Where's the driver?

Citizen: Yeah.

911 operator: Is he in the car?

Citizen: Yes, he is in the car.

911 operator: And what's his name?

Citizen: No! What is in the safe with the money.

911 operator: Uh, sir, I don't know what's in the safe with the money.

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Citizen: Yes, you do. I just told you, dude.

911 operator: Okay, let me get this straight, there's someone in the safe?

Citizen: Yeah.

911 operator: Who is in the safe?

Citizen: No! Who is holding people hostage. I keep telling you this, man.

911 operator: It's alright, let's start again.

Citizen: Okay, yes, okay.

911 operator: There are three men robbing the bank?

Citizen: Yes, three men.

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911 operator: One's holding people hostage?

Citizen: Uh-huh.

911 operator: One's in the safe with the money?

Citizen: Yes.

911 operator: And one is in the getaway car?

Citizen: You got it! You got it!

911 operator: So if the man in the safe was to call over to the man holding the hostages, what would he say?

Citizen: Who.

911 operator: I thought you knew.

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Citizen: I do know. I told you already.

911 operator: Who's holding people hostage?

Citizen: That's what I have been saying all along. I said Who is holding people hostage and What is...

911 operator: Sir, there are people's lives at stake!

Suddenly, three gunshots go off, and screaming can be heard in the distance.

Citizen: Oh oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! He just shot a hostage!

911 operator: Who shot a hostage?

Citizen: Yes, he did. Man, right in the chest, man, I'm... (Crying) Oh man, I'm so scared, man. I'm so scared. Somebody help me! Man, send the cops!

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911 operator: I know you are scared, sir. The police are almost there. Can you tell me the name of the guy who shot a hostage?

Citizen: Who.

911 operator: The guy who shot a hostage. What's his name?

Citizen: No, no, What's in the safe.

911 operator: He shot a hostage in the safe?

Citizen: No, no, not the safe.

911 operator: Where?

Citizen: I'm not talking about the driver, man.

911 operator: Okay, sir, can you see the hostage?

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Citizen: Yes, I can see him, but just barely. I'm peeking through the window.

911 operator: Is the hostage alive?

Citizen: Uhhhhhhh...Oh! He isn't moving. I think he's dead. Oh, Lord! Please help me! Oh, Lord! Send the cops in here right now.

911 operator: Sir, I need you to stay calm. So the man holding people hostage is the one who shot someone.

Both the 911 operator and citizen are silent for a while. The citizen sighed annoyingly.

911 operator: Sir?

Citizen: Yes. That's the one who shot someone.

911 operator: Ok, and what is his name?

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Citizen: Who dude!

911 operator: What is the name of the person who shot the hostage?

Citizen: What's in the safe with all the money. I don't know what to say. I keep telling you, man.

911 operator: Okay! Let's make this simple. When these guys go behind bars and face charges, who's going to be charged for murder?

Citizen: Yes! I sure hope he is. He needs to be charged in the first degree. He killed somebody, for goodness sake.

Did you manage to understand what the poor witness was trying to say? It was definitely a confusing situation. If you need another laugh, check out this next joke involving another robbery!

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