Losing your loved one, especially your parents, to a severe brain disorder such as dementia can be very distressing. One woman opened up about what it was like to lose their mother. After she passed, the woman discovered letters her mother left for her, and they helped her through her grief.
After your loved one leaves you, you wish you could hear them call your name one last time. It's hard to accept their death at first, but with time you learn to live your life by cherishing their memories and looking back at the good times you spent with them.
You open their wardrobe and look at all the clothes they used to wear. Their favorite pair of pants stare back at you. You open another drawer and notice a white piece of paper sitting on top of the clothes. You open it, and tears start rolling down your cheeks. Your loved one left a note for you before they died.
Close-up of a woman crying | Source: Unsplash
WOMAN DISCOVERS LOVELY LETTERS LEFT BY HER DECEASED MOTHER
A woman on Reddit opened up about losing her mother because of dementia. She was looking after her mother for 20 years and saw her struggle with dementia for the last five years of her life. It wasn't easy for her to watch her go through the worst phase of her life.
After her death, the daughter visited her house and discovered notes left by her mother in different places around the house. She knew her daughter would visit her home, and these heartwarming notes would make her feel better. One of the notes said, "Last will & testament: I trust you, and I love you!"
Woman conforting another person with a hug | Source: Pexels
It isn't easy for people to watch their loved ones struggle with dementia, especially when it's their mother. It breaks your heart to see the woman who gave birth to you and held your hand through the most challenging stages of your life now struggling to form a sentence. Another Redditor commented:
"My grandmother got to a point where she didn’t recognize my mom at her present age, and thought that I was my mother instead (at a younger age). So I felt glad that in a roundabout way she still remembered my mom (especially since she had forgotten me years before). Dementia is awful. Sorry OP"
Dementia attacks your brain and plays with your memory. You start forgetting small things like what you had for dinner last night and ultimately fail to recognize the people you spent your entire life with. It's like having a stranger's soul trapped inside your body. You become a new person emotionally and mentally.
HOW DOES DEMENTIA PROGRESS?
Dementia seeps into your life and gradually affects your brain, making you forget things from your past. At first, it might seem like you have become a forgetful person, but later on, you realize that there's something wrong with your brain.
Dementia isn't just about forgetting things and not knowing what happened last month. People who are diagnosed with dementia are no longer the person they used to be. It changes their personality, and it can have a devastating effect on their family. Seeing the person you love lose their identity is heartbreaking.
A Redditor posted that it's painful to watch dementia gradually take over her mother's life. Her 57-year-old mother was diagnosed with dementia in 2016, and she posted it on Reddit in 2019. Her mother keeps on talking about the weather every day because she has forgotten about everything else.
Woman talking to an elderly lady | Source: Pexels
The Redditor was planning to call the doctor for a euthanasia declaration because she remembered her mother telling her that she didn't want to reach the point in her life where she didn't recognize people around her. It was a tough decision for her, and she felt ashamed. She wrote:
"It's hard for me to remember my mom. My real mom, not this person who's wearing her skin. I miss her so much it physically hurts. She right there!!!! But I can't reach her or talk to her."
The Redditor hasn't updated the post for two years, and we don't know about her mother's current condition. However, from the post, we can see how difficult it was for her to see her mother slowly lose her identity.
Woman sitting on floor looking down | Source: Pexels
WOMAN LOST HER MOTHER TO ALZHEIMER'S
Another woman shared her experience of losing her mother because of Alzheimer's. Her New York Times article revealed what happens after losing your mother. It's one of the most dreaded moments of everyone's life, and no one likes to imagine what happens after one of their parents dies.
The author shared her experience a year after her mother died. Watching her dearest mother struggle with the disease for ten years was heartbreaking. Alzheimer's gradually affected her and completely changed her as a person.
She shared that the journey of watching your mother struggle with Alzheimer's is not easy. It's a "one-way" journey where you have to face difficult situations and even decide to move your mother to another place where people can take care of her.
Woman crying and looking outside the window | Source: Pexels
As Alzheimer's progresses, the patient moves closer to their deathbed, and you never know which conversation is your last one with them. Sorrow and grief surround you after you say your final goodbyes. Your mother lives in your memories forever, and it's the best version of her that you have in your mind.
The author described this feeling as an "unexpected gift." Watching her mother wave back at her in her mind is exactly how she wanted to remember her. This was something she had never thought would happen. She wished someone had told her about this feeling earlier because it would've helped her.
Elderly woman reading a book | Source: Pexels
50-YEAR-OLD DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA
Another woman's 50-year-old mother was diagnosed with dementia, and she opened up about her difficult journey on the internet. Her mother was an intelligent woman who was well-aware of what was going on in the world, and watching things slip off her mind was heartbreaking.
At first, her mother noticed she had forgotten things and realized she wasn't as bright as she was before. As her dementia progressed, she started depending on her family for everything, including maintaining personal hygiene. The author wrote that her mother was physically present but mentally absent.
It's agonizing to see your parents struggle with doing things that came to them naturally before their illness. It's even more difficult to say your final goodbye as they succumb to their condition. We'd love to know if you went through something similar. Your comments are appreciated!
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