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October 11, 2021

Woman Asked Husband to Choose Her Instead of Daughter If Tragedy Strikes during Childbirth

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Giving birth is one of the most challenging yet happiest moments a woman can experience. Sometimes, things don't go as planned, and the doctors need to choose between the mother and the baby. A Redditor opened up about a similar situation in her life, and people were disgusted to know her opinion. 

If a woman encounters a tragedy during childbirth, and the doctors say they can save either the mother or the baby, who should the husband choose? Should he allow his wife to die and live as a single parent, or is it better to save his wife?

Some people will agree that it's better to choose the baby while others say the mother should live. Some couples talk about this before childbirth so that it's easy to decide last moment. A Redditor found herself in a similar situation and turned to the online community for help. 

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PREGNANCY COMPLICATIONS

A Redditor named Aithana posted that she gave birth to her daughter two years back and had developed gestational diabetes during pregnancy. Women with this condition develop high blood sugar because of a change in hormone level. This can affect their baby in multiple ways.

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Since the woman had developed gestational diabetes, her gynecologist suggested they go for a c-section instead of the natural way. The OP (Original Poster) agreed since she wanted her baby to be healthy regardless of the delivery method.

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MOTHER OR BABY?

The OP decided to discuss this with her husband before going to the hospital. She told him to choose her over the baby in case a complication arises during the delivery. Her husband went quiet and asked her to inform his mother about her decision. 

Certain pregnancy complications require the doctors to choose between the mother or the baby because they can only save one. It's best to talk to your partner about it before going to the hospital. 

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TRYING FOR ANOTHER ONE

The OP gave birth to her child, and nothing went wrong. After two years, the couple decided to have another baby. The OP went to a party and discovered that one of her friends was also trying to conceive. She talked about this topic with her friends for a long time. 

One of her friends asked her if she was ready to go through the nine months of pregnancy once again. This period is like a roller coaster ride because you feel happy on some days and sick on others. The Redditor answered the question honestly. 

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THE DISCUSSION

While answering her friend's question, the OP revealed that she told her husband to choose her over the baby before going to the hospital last time. She confessed that she wasn't scared of the pregnancy. It was childbirth that sent a shiver down her spine. She wrote:

"The original agreement stands that he needs to choose me if that's the case"

She admitted that she would say the same to her husband this time. She doesn't want to leave her children without a mother. Instead, she would prefer that her daughter doesn't have a sibling. At least she would have her mother by her side.

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DISGUSTED LOOKS

Her friends thought it was not right to choose herself over her unborn child. They said that she was thinking negatively, and she shouldn't ask her husband to "kill the baby." On the other hand, the OP didn't agree with her friends' opinions. Another user wrote:

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"NTA I told my husband the same thing and he agreed with me."

Another Redditor shared that she discussed the same thing with her husband before the delivery. They decided to save the mother during the first pregnancy and agreed to do the same during the second one because they didn't want to leave their children without a mother. 

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The OP said that she discussed this with her husband beforehand to prepare him if the doctors asked him to decide who to save. She didn't want to put her husband on the spot in her absence, so she thought the best way was to talk about it before going to the hospital. Another Redditor commented:

"Your spouse should know your wishes during these types of situations. It's similar to end of life care, extreme life saving / life preserving measures, etc. in that your next of kin should know what you would want if you are unable to make the decision yourself."

Conversations like these are essential when the couple suspects that things might go wrong during childbirth. Putting the father on the spot and expecting him to make the best decision is not fair because choosing between your wife and baby is very difficult. 

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What's your take on this topic? Should couples discuss pregnancy complications beforehand? Choosing between the mother and child is difficult, but the right decision can be made by looking at the circumstances. If a mother already has a child, then it's best to save her.

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On the other hand, doctors might consider saving the baby if the baby has enough support and can survive without the mother. If the baby's chances of survival are not good, it's best to keep the mother alive. The husband has the final say in these cases, so the couple should talk about it beforehand.

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