October 13, 2021
A well-off couple share four daughters. However, their eldest has Down syndrome, and though her parents thought she wouldn’t live past her fifth birthday, she has lived well into her late forties. And while many would consider this a blessing, her overwhelmed mother, in a moment of desperation, once wished she had died.
It can be harrowing to find out that your child has Down syndrome. For some parents, the reality of their situation is a bitter pill to swallow, and many children with down syndrome end up in foster care. However, some decide to keep their children.
A couple decided to keep their daughter because they assumed she would not make it past her fifth birthday. However, fate had other plans. Redditor EyePatchedE shared the story about her relative’s emotional journey and how it affected the young girl’s parents.
MOTHER WISHES FOR HER DAUGHTER’S DEATH
The Reddit user started her post saying she’s not a parent and that she was giving readers a glimpse into her take on her relative’s home situation. In a lengthy post, OP opened up about the painful story about their oldest daughter.
The mother said she never got a chance to live her own life because of her daughter with Down syndrome and wished she died.
According to OP, the parents were both well-off. The father was a retired surgeon, and the mother was a nurse. Despite both being medical professionals, the parents slowly gave up on their child and vaguely assumed she’d never make it.
DOWN SYNDROME IS NOT A DEATH SENTENCE
The mom quit her job to tend to her kids, particularly her daughter with Down syndrome. She initially planned to go back to work in ten years as she assumed her stress would “settle down” for good. OP wrote:
“Let’s call the oldest K. K was born with very severe Down syndrome...They said she had absolutely no chance of living past 5 years old. K is 43 this year and still requires full-time care.”
Though K has proved their notions wrong may be considered a blessing to most, it also adds to their stress. Caring for someone with special needs requires emotional, mental, and physical input that can be exhausting to parents who have other kids.
BEING NORMAL OR NOT DEPENDS ON HOW YOU SEE THINGS
From regular blood tests and measuring her food to even getting up thrice a night to check her blood became a routine. The Redditor explained, saying:
“As is usual with down syndrome patients, the older she has gotten, the more difficult she is to deal with.”
While Down syndrome is not a death sentence, it can be a harrowing journey for both the person who has the genetic condition and their caregivers. For this mother, the journey was too much, and she believed she never got a chance to live her own life.
THE ULTIMATE BREAKDOWN
Redditor EyePatchedEm goes on to talk about a night she spent with K’s mother. The two talked over a toast of wine about the daughter’s health condition. After a few glasses, the mother broke down and, in drunken desperation, uttered the most hurtful things, saying:
“After a few glasses, she broke down. She never got a chance to live her own life because of K. Not in their wildest dreams did they expect her to live as long as she had...She looked at me and said, “I wish she’d just die already.”
According to the Redditor, K’s mother was a wonderful parent and a kind woman and admitted she’d never seen someone with so much love and care for their specially-abled daughter. After reading the post, several users sympathized with the mother and understood her pain.
In the end, OP concluded that perhaps her words were simply the result of built-up frustration and an emotional outburst as the mother continues to be a loving mother to her daughter.
What’s your take on parents and kids dealing with the challenges of the genetic condition presents every day? We’d love to discuss your opinions.