November 02, 2021
An old-fashioned grandmother who strongly believed "non-masculine men" belonged in the trash visited her granddaughter. She was furious that her great-grandson had painted nails.
Redditor throwaway5yas moved in with her boyfriend and five-year-old son to care for her mom, who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She had the certificates and felt she was the only one who'd take proper care of her mom, but it was a temporary arrangement.
The Original Poster (OP) and her partner planned to sell their home and get a bigger one so that her mom could move in with them. Though that plan was perfect, it also meant OP had to deal with her grandma's stereotypical attitude towards her son.
OP started dating her partner when her son was a year old. Her ex-husband was missing in action, and her boyfriend willingly accepted OP's son as his own. She explained:
“My son is his everything. I think he likes him more than he likes me. Probably why he hasn’t left, let’s be honest.”
If there were one thing that troubled OP, it would be her grandmother's old-fashioned views. Because of this, she claimed she'd never had a proper face-to-face conversation with her.
OP's grandma is an old-school woman who firmly believed that men need to be ultra-masculine and women doting homemakers. Though OP tried explaining that she wasn't in the '50s anymore, the grandmother stuck to her perspectives. OP added:
“Now, my son likes to paint his nails whenever I do. It just so happens that we painted our nails the day before yesterday and he chose a really vibrant lime green, his favorite color, mine as well.”
The grandmother spotted her great-grandson's nails during a casual visit. The vibrant green shade on the boy's nails annoyed and disgusted her because, in her opinion, boys shouldn't paint their nails.
Since OP's son attended a remote school, she felt her son wouldn't be bullied. She also claimed that little boys painting their nails and their moms is common, but her grandmother bitterly refused to accept that and took her concerns to OP's partner.
Her family members left abusive messages on social media stating that her son would grow up with feminine traits.
The grandmother chastised him for allowing it and claimed it was his job to impose masculine traits on his son. She condemned him, saying there was no point in raising the boy if he couldn't do even this much, and OP lost her cool.
She couldn't accept her grandma's criticism of her son, especially after she mentioned disciplining the femininity out of the child. In a fit of rage, OP lashed out at her grandma. She explained:
“I instantly kicked her out. She said something like, “This isn’t your damned house. You get the [expletive] out.” It was insanely childish for a minute.”
OP's mother overheard their argument and came out immediately. She shouted at both of them after she heard both their sides. She thought both OP and the grandmother were in the wrong.
After reading her post, several users sided with OP and explained she was right to take a stand for her son. User Eve-3 commented:
“Your boy is already growing up harassed by your grandmother. Maybe next time she is there, your boyfriend can ‘show some masculinity’ by telling her to shut up and go cook something.”
User EffectiveStatus7 was appalled by the grandmother's attitude. The person said that OP's grandmother was doing this not because she wanted him bullied, but she wanted to cherish her old-fashioned mindset.
After the incident, OP's relationship with her grandmother became even rockier. Her family members left abusive messages on social media stating that her son would grow up with feminine traits. However, OP stood her ground.
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