December 31, 2021
A dad-to-be has taken to social media requesting opinions if he did right in asking his five-months-pregnant wife to sleep in the guest room so he can get a peaceful good night’s rest.
Pregnancy can cause a lot of restless nights and sleeping issues, so it’s understandable when a mom-to-be kicks her husband out of bed to get a good night’s sleep. But what if the dad does it?
One man with the user handle ThrowAITAJB406 turned to Reddit to ask if his decision to make his pregnant wife sleep in a separate room was awkward.
Man asks his pregnant wife to sleep in another room so that he can rest well | Photo: Flickr
In a post exceeding 12K upvotes, the Original Poster (OP) describes how his wife who was five months pregnant had insomnia. If that weren’t enough, she also had to deal with hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), an intense form of nausea and vomiting in pregnant women.
OP was aware of how exhausting it can be during pregnancy, especially during the first 12 weeks. Also, in some cases, occasional sleeplessness accompanied by other symptoms like depression and hormonal fluctuations causes insomnia.
To make matters worse, OP’s wife had insomnia for the past two months, and it was nothing short of terrible. Because of this, she’d often get up at night to go to the bathroom and wouldn’t do it without disturbing a sound asleep OP.
OP's pregnant wife had insomnia | Photo: Unsplash
The problem intensifies here—with OP’s tight work schedule. Not only does he have to wake up early daily, but he also works a long stretch from 8 a.m. to 7 p.m.
His wife never worked because of the highly stressful issues in her pregnancy. OP thought it was understandable but couldn’t compromise with his rest hours, particularly with all that noise his wife made while up at night and while he was fast asleep.
OP put up with these slight disturbances for a month but eventually thought it was enough. He could no longer deal with it being a very sensitive sleeper.
OP could no longer tolerate the disturbances at night | Photo: Pexels
He slept for barely five hours, and his career in the tech industry was super complicated to function with limited rest. He gradually explained it to his wife, and to his surprise, she respectfully understood.
However, some people turned critics, and OP thought it was high time he clarified “certain” things.
The mom-to-be relocated to a guest room and was more than happy to have it all to herself. But the real problem arose when she jokingly mentioned sleeping in the guest room when her parents visited.
OP's mother-in-law confronted him | Photo: Pexels
The guy’s mother-in-law was quick to take him aside and confront him. He explained his reasons to the woman, but she lashed out at him, saying it was the least he could do to help his wife.
The conversation intensified for a while until OP’s wife interrupted, telling her mom she had no problem sleeping in that room. However, it caused a slight rift after her parents left.
OP argued with his wife for mentioning her relocation to her parents and felt guilty. Though they made up later, he was still confused about asking her to sleep in a separate room.
He thought the people on Reddit would guide him to steer clear of his doubts, but his dilemma amassed divided opinions.
The man was confused about his decision | Photo: Pexels
“My wife and I have had similar issues with disturbing each other’s sleep - not due to pregnancy but other reasons,” Redditor EvilGreebo said, adding:
“We’ve had months where we slept separately and months where we sleep in the same bed. It isn’t any sign of a change in our affections - it’s about being able to SLEEP.”
The person advised that if OP and his wife were fine with the arrangement, it wasn’t anybody else’s business to intervene in their decision. However, some people turned critics, and OP thought it was high time he clarified “certain” things.
People online shared advise based on similar scenarios | Photo: Pexels
“You want to sleep - you move to get it. Why on earth did you think she should be the one to move?” Redditor BBMcBeadle wrote.
The person doubted if OP realized his decision was unfair, considering how he didn’t want his wife to bring up the relocation in front of her parents.
As the discussion heated up, OP felt obliged to respond to the several queries and concerns people had on the threads.
Some questioned OP's decision | Photo: Pexels
“I apologized profusely...She assured me that she prefers the guest room, and I would never mind giving up the main bed if that is what she prefers,” he explained in his defense.
The expectant dad added that he would ultimately be involved in their baby’s caregiving and make sure his wife rests enough once the baby arrives.
“I wish I could take away her pain, but right now, all I can do is help her to the best of my ability,” OP concluded.
OP said he would help his pregnant wife to the best of his ability | Photo: Unsplash
Questions to Ponder:
Would OP still battle for peaceful rest once the baby arrives?
The people online sided with OP saying he was not wrong for making his pregnant wife sleep in the guest room. But they also claimed that he would have a pretty hard time dealing with more noise when the baby arrives. It’s anybody’s guess if OP would still have his wife and newborn sleep in the guest room or if he would embrace the situation the way it is.
Was OP justified in agreeing to relocate his pregnant wife to another room so that he could sleep peacefully?
Many argued it should have been OP who moved to the other room and not his wife. But OP said it was his wife who insisted and she even had a bigger bed in the other room. If you were sleep-deprived like OP, would you consider relocating your pregnant spouse to another room so that you can get a good night’s rest?
If you enjoyed reading this story, here’s a touching story of a woman who birthed a premature baby alone after her husband kicked her out of his house.
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