A woman took it to Reddit when her unemployed husband asked her to breastfeed their child instead of buying formula milk. Her husband said he wanted to save her hard-earned money.
The woman confessed that her toddler and 9-month-old baby had "never-ending" needs, which she fulfills by spending a lot of money. As the sole breadwinner, things were getting difficult for her.
Her husband suggested she stop buying formula milk and breastfeed the child instead to lessen the burden. The woman lost her cool after hearing her husband's words.
The 32-year-old woman shared that her husband left his previous job because of an issue with his employer. He also refused to work in other fields.
Naturally, her husband used her money to fulfill his needs. The woman didn't have any issue with it until he started spending her hard-earned money on luxuries instead of necessities.
She always found herself short on money because of her husband's expenditures. She even gave up buying hygiene products for herself because of him.
She didn't have enough money to buy things for herself | Source: Unsplash
While she always felt guilty buying things for herself, her husband didn't. He used a chunk of her salary every month to pay for streaming services, including Netflix, HBO, ESPN+, and Amazon Prime.
OP (Original Poster) blew up at her husband and told him she won't quit buying makeup.
OP also often found herself short of money whenever she wanted to buy something for herself. She confessed that she only had one "decent" pair of shoes because she always felt guilty spending money on herself.
She only had one pair of shoes | Source: Unsplash
One day, the woman decided to talk to her husband about managing their finances. She wanted to express that it was difficult to bear the monthly expenses. She explained:
"I asked him to choose one channel and he threw a fit calling me ridiculous to think streaming services are the reason I'm always short on money."
Her husband then blamed her for buying "expensive and unnecessary" makeup. He believed that was why she didn't have enough money left at the end of every month.
Her husband spent her money on monthly subscriptions | Source: Unsplash
At this point, OP (Original Poster) blew up at her husband and told him she wouldn't quit buying makeup. In return, her husband accused her of controlling him financially. He told her she couldn't buy him by offering him money.
When OP asked him to choose one streaming service and cancel all other subscriptions, he refused. He believed he was entitled to those streaming services and considered them "tax" in return for looking after their sons all day.
He said he took care of the children all day | Source: Unsplash
The final straw for OP was when her husband told her to stop buying formula milk and return to breastfeeding to save money. She lost her cool after hearing his words, baffled at his audacity of thinking that his subscriptions were more precious than his son's diet.
OP also shared that she didn't have time to breastfeed her son because of work. Her husband stopped arguing and told her she was pushing him. She explained:
"I told him he no longer has the choice and I'll just stop paying for all his channels/subscriptions altogether"
OP's husband asked her to stop buying formula milk | Source: Unsplash
Her husband wasn't expecting her to cancel the subscription. He told her it was wrong to cancel and that she needed to appreciate his efforts as a stay-at-home parent.
When he gave her the cold shoulder all day, OP felt she might have gone too far with their argument. She posted her story on Reddit asking other users if she had done the right thing. oddgrrl99 replied:
"Ummm..what efforts? He’s contributing nothing financially. You are NTA and you can spend your hard earned dollars however you like."
She posted the story on Reddit to ask other people for advice | Source: Unsplash
OP replied that she wasn't sure what her husband's efforts were because she had to do all the house chores after returning home from work. Her husband also told her not to complain about it because she was responsible for doing the housework.
Suspicious_Soul read OP's comment and told her people like her husband never change. They might change for a few days or months, but the change isn't permanent.
The user advised OP to move her money into a separate bank account that her husband doesn't know of. They also told her to remove her credit card details from his streaming services subscription accounts.
Another Redditor asked OP to remove her credit card details from her husband's accounts | Source: Unsplash
Meanwhile, worryaboutYOUhoe viewed the story from a different perspective. She asked OP why her husband wasn't applying for a job. She wrote:
"I don’t see how you’re financially controlling him if it’s his choice to be unemployed."
OP replied that it was difficult to get a job in her husband's profession, and he wasn't willing to work any other job. Most users told OP she wasn't at fault and advised her to separate her finances from her husband.
OP's husband wanted a job related to his field only | Source: Unsplash
Questions to Ponder:
Do you think OP should push her husband to find a job?
OP's husband wasn't finding a job because he didn't want to work outside his profession. However, some people might agree OP should push him to work because it was difficult for her to bear the expenses alone. Do you think both parents should work?
Do you think OP's husband was being unreasonable by asking her to stop buying formula milk?
OP's husband felt she could cut the expenses by not buying formula milk for their child. He asked her to breastfeed their son, but OP shared she couldn't do so because she was working. She lashed out at her husband because she believed his demands were unfair. Do you agree with her? Or do you think her husband's point was valid?
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