It is normal for people to ask about things they cannot understand. However, some usually go overboard by asking absurd and insensitive questions. The latter is what an inter-abled couple has had to experience, and this is what they have to say about the weird questions.
Living with a disability can be one of the most challenging experiences. It is even more difficult as some disabled people have to deal with the possibility of not getting married or having children.
Those who eventually find a partner sometimes get abandoned later in the relationship. However, some are blessed and lucky to find that special person who would love and be by their side against all odds.
But, sadly, it does not take away the challenges the duo would face as a couple, one of which includes negative and prying comments or questions from netizens about the disabled partner.
The above is the case of John and Jade Reynolds, a couple from Preston, Lancashire. The duo has been candid about their experiences as an inter-abled couple, including how they constantly have to deal with certain invasive and insensitive comments and questions from individuals. Here are details of the duo's story.
DETAILS OF JADE'S CONDITION
At 12, Jade was diagnosed with a very rare condition called acute transverse myelitis, causing spinal cord inflammation. According to Jade, the doctors had informed her that she had a higher chance of winning the lottery than of developing the condition.
However, it was not so for Jade. The condition forced her to be in a wheelchair, and she has lived that way for about two decades.
Thankfully, she has lived happily with love from her husband, John, and her two kids. Jade and John first met in bible college, and since then, the latter has been one of his wife's support systems.
INSIDE THE WEIRD QUESTIONS THE COUPLE GETS
Together, the duo has overcome trying times, including the negativity surrounding their union. In 2022, the couple took to TikTok to reveal some of the common questions individuals online and offline have asked about Jade's condition and marriage.
In the now-viral video, John made it known that he was frequently asked questions like "Can you guys have 'seggs'?" "Can she be a good mum, though?" "Do you have a thing for disabled women?"
After the video hit over four million views, Jade also opened up about the common questions people have asked her as a wheelchair user.
According to the mom of two, the questions include: "What did you do?" "Can I have a go in your chair?" "You're too pretty to be in a wheelchair," "Can you have kids?" and "Close your eyes and tell me if you feel this."
In a third TikTok clip, John confessed that people went as far as telling Jade that she was "lucky" to be married to her husband, adding that someday, John could leave her for a woman who is not disabled. The doting husband noted that such comments made it seem like he favored Jade by marrying her. John said:
"There's this scarily common idea that people who are in wheelchairs or have any form of disability, who are also in a relationship are in some way tantamount to competition winners or that they've won a charity auction."
Furthermore, he explained that it was not that way with his wife. According to John, Jade gives as much love as she gets from her husband. He said the mom of two is abundantly sacrificial, smart, and intelligent.
MORE ABOUT JADE'S EXPERIENCES
Besides dealing with these common questions, Jade revealed that she also has to deal with people who want to know everything about her condition, even though they have no relationship.
The Lancashire native confessed that those very personal questions frustrate her, especially if she is having a bad day -- but she would laugh them off if she was having a good day. Jade said she has also learned to draw boundaries with people and insist on refusing to share her story.
While Jade has found a way to get past people who ask absurd and personal questions, she still has to deal with those who project their fears and insecurities on her. According to her:
"I do know of other wheelchair users who have been asked, 'Are you worried your partner will leave you?' Thankfully, I haven't been asked that."
"People can sometimes project their insecurities onto me. They'd say, 'If I was in a wheelchair, I'd be worried that my partner would leave me.' I never think that," she added.
Jade maintains that she is enjoying her life and does not need people to put such insecurities and fears on her.
At the same time, she and her husband believe that as Christians, it is best to forgive those who cross their boundaries with negative comments, as everyone makes mistakes.
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