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Kevin Costner Feared Marriage after Divorce Brought 'Huge Loss' to His Life — It Led to His Next Break Up

Olawale Ogunjimi
Jul 22, 2022
12:10 P.M.
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After more than a decade of marriage and three kids, Kevin Costner and his high school sweetheart Cindy Silva divorced. However, the actor's next attempt at marriage with Christine Baumgartner suddenly ended when she requested something he was unwilling to give.

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When Kevin Costner rose to fame in Hollywood during the 1980s, he did so with his first wife and college sweetheart Cindy Silva by his side.

Their love story started at California State University at Fullerton, where Costner was majoring in business administration, and Silva, the homecoming queen at the University, was majoring in biological science.

 American actor Kevin Costner and his wife, Cindy Silva, smile while arriving at a semiformal event. | Source: Getty Images

American actor Kevin Costner and his wife, Cindy Silva, smile while arriving at a semiformal event. | Source: Getty Images

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Silva, who acted at Disneyland during summer vacations, was a stunning raven-haired beauty and quite popular in contrast to Costner, who was just a 5 foot 2 kid from Compton. Nevertheless, sparks flew between them when they met in 1975 at a party at the Delta Chi fraternity house.

Silva was immediately attracted to Costner; however, the latter could not believe why someone like her would fancy him. Costner confessed later on:

"I always thought it was remarkable that she would like me."

American actress Cindy Costner and American actor, director, producer, and musician Kevin Costner attend the 'Dances With Wolves' Los Angeles Premiere at Cineplex Odeon Cinema in Los Angeles, California, US, 4th November 1990. | Source: Getty Images

American actress Cindy Costner and American actor, director, producer, and musician Kevin Costner attend the 'Dances With Wolves' Los Angeles Premiere at Cineplex Odeon Cinema in Los Angeles, California, US, 4th November 1990. | Source: Getty Images

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The two quickly became inseparable after they met, and on their first actual date, Costner took her to see "Funny Girl" before taking her home to meet his parents. Speaking about the early stages of their romance in 1989, the actor disclosed:

"She was beautiful, she was sweet, she was smarter than me…she represented everything about women that I like."

The lovebirds eventually tied the knot two and a half years after they first met, and they welcomed their kids, Annie, Lily, and son Joe. During the early stages of their marriage, the couple struggled financially, but Silva was always convinced her husband would make it in the industry.

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Actor Kevin Costner poses for a portrait with his ex-wife and children Cindy Costner, Annie, Lily and Joe arrive for the "Wyatt Earp" Hollywood Premiere on June 18, 1994 at the Mann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

Actor Kevin Costner poses for a portrait with his ex-wife and children Cindy Costner, Annie, Lily and Joe arrive for the "Wyatt Earp" Hollywood Premiere on June 18, 1994 at the Mann's Chinese Theater in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

His career picked up steam in the late 80s, and before long, he became one of the hottest actors in the industry. After that, Silva started getting concerned about Costner's steamy scenes with female co-stars in some movies.

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For 16 years, she endured watching her husband's steamy scenes with actresses on screen and many rumors of Costner cheating on her. In 1994 the couple announced their split to the disappointment of many people.

Annie Costner, Lily Costner and Cindy Costner during 8th Annual Mother Daughter Fashion Show at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA, United States. | Source: Getty Images

Annie Costner, Lily Costner and Cindy Costner during 8th Annual Mother Daughter Fashion Show at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, CA, United States. | Source: Getty Images

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Nonetheless, in their statement, the pair announced they had amicably resolved all issues regarding their kids and finances. According to reports, Silva ended up with a divorce settlement of $80 million. Speaking after the divorce, Costner declared:

"My faith was shaken. No one wants their marriage to end, and it did. You are going to see the people you love most, your children, only half as much. That's a huge loss."

NEW LOVE AND BREAKUP

Kevin Costner attends a dinner hosted by Finch & Partners for the launch of Paramount+ UK at Chiltern Firehouse on June 21, 2022 in London, England. | Source: Getty Images

Kevin Costner attends a dinner hosted by Finch & Partners for the launch of Paramount+ UK at Chiltern Firehouse on June 21, 2022 in London, England. | Source: Getty Images

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After Costner's marriage to Silva, the actor jumped back into the dating pool, dating and welcoming a child, Liam, with Bridget Rooney in 1996. However, that relationship ended just three years later, in 1999, and the actor ended up in the dating pool again.

This time around, Costner reunited with fashion designer Christine Baumgartner, who he first met on a golf course in the 1980s while he was married to Silva.

In 1999 when they crossed paths again in a restaurant after all those years, the duo were both single. Costner was open to finding love again, and he and Baumgartner started dating shortly after. The couple looked happy together for four years until they suddenly separated in 2003.

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 Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner attend the Elton John AIDS Foundation's 30th Annual Academy Awards Viewing Party on March 27, 2022 in West Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

Kevin Costner and Christine Baumgartner attend the Elton John AIDS Foundation's 30th Annual Academy Awards Viewing Party on March 27, 2022 in West Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

According to reports, Baumgartner wanted to have kids with Costner, but the actor did not welcome the idea. This disagreement was what ultimately led to them calling it quits. However, once Baumgartner was out of his life, Costner had a rethink his stance opposing having kids.

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Costner was scared he would not be an adequate father, so he rejected the idea of having children with Baumgartner. The actor stated:

"Fear kept me from marrying Christine. [She] wanted a child, but I was afraid I couldn't be an effective father."

Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner attend the 94th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood and Highland on March 27, 2022 in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner attend the 94th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood and Highland on March 27, 2022 in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

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However, the actor contemplated if he was willing to destroy a four-year relationship because he did not want to have kids. He said:

"I woke up and thought, 'Am I going to lose a beautiful woman who is willing to be with me to my very last breath because I am afraid to say yes to a child?' That's all it took. Sometimes you learn the thing you're most afraid of will save your life."

Actor Kevin Costner, wife Christine Baumgartner and children Grace Avery Costner, Hayes Logan Costner and Cayden Wyatt Costner arrive at the World Premiere of Disney's 'McFarland, USA' at the El Capitan Theatre on February 9, 2015 in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

Actor Kevin Costner, wife Christine Baumgartner and children Grace Avery Costner, Hayes Logan Costner and Cayden Wyatt Costner arrive at the World Premiere of Disney's 'McFarland, USA' at the El Capitan Theatre on February 9, 2015 in Hollywood, California. | Source: Getty Images

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Nevertheless, Baumgartner had also given him an ultimatum, "She said, 'I'm going to wait for you, but not long. When you come to your senses, come back to me. And I did," Costner Confessed. The two reunited and eventually tied the knot in a beautiful ceremony on their property in Aspen, Colorado, in 2004.

Finally, three years later, they welcomed their first child together, Cayden, born in May 2007. Two years later, they became parents again as they welcomed their son, Hayes. In June 2010, daughter Grace was also added to the family.

INSIDE THE COUPLE'S PRIVATE MARRIAGE & PARENTING

 Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner attend the 28th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at Barker Hangar on February 27, 2022 in Santa Monica, California. | Source: Getty Images

Christine Baumgartner and Kevin Costner attend the 28th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at Barker Hangar on February 27, 2022 in Santa Monica, California. | Source: Getty Images

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After almost two decades of marriage, Costner spoke about his long-lasting relationship with Baumgartner. According to the actor, he and his wife have seen their fair share of issues; however, the ability to say sorry has worked like magic to keep their marriage together.

Although it might sound simple, Costner noted that if you can proclaim your love to someone, would you also be willing to say sorry even on occasions when you know you are right?

With the addition of their three kids to the family, Costner disclosed he and Baumgartner decided to resist bringing their kids to Hollywood film premieres and raising them away from the spotlight.

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Actor Kevin Costner, girlfriend Cindy Baumgartner and his kids Lily, Annie and Joe Costnerattend the "Thirteen Days" Westwood Premiere on December 19, 2000 at the Mann Village Theatre in Westwood, California. | Source: Getty Images

Actor Kevin Costner, girlfriend Cindy Baumgartner and his kids Lily, Annie and Joe Costnerattend the "Thirteen Days" Westwood Premiere on December 19, 2000 at the Mann Village Theatre in Westwood, California. | Source: Getty Images

The actor, his wife, and kids spend most of their time at the family's 165-acre Dunbar Ranch just outside Aspen, Colorado. Costner revealed he and his family spend most of their best time on the ranch with three lakes and a river running through it.

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The actor admitted that raising his kids with Baumgartner alongside their step-siblings from his previous relationships has not always been easy.

Kevin Costner, Christine Baumgartner and their children attend the Los Angeles premiere of 20th Century Fox's "The Art of Racing In The Rain" held at El Capitan Theatre on August 01, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Kevin Costner, Christine Baumgartner and their children attend the Los Angeles premiere of 20th Century Fox's "The Art of Racing In The Rain" held at El Capitan Theatre on August 01, 2019 in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

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The actor acknowledged that as his kids interact, there is always a sense of questioning about which sets he cares for the most. But thankfully, he has taught them that there is room enough for him to love all of them.

According to him, if any jealousy existed, he reminded his older kids that the newer ones would not have as much time with him as they had, so they should just learn to embrace one another.

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