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Woman holding a sleeping baby | Source: Shutterstock
Woman holding a sleeping baby | Source: Shutterstock

My Husband Thought I Did Nothing While at Home with Our 5-Month-Old Baby until I Left Home for a Week – My Story

Monica Otayza
Dec 04, 2022
03:15 A.M.

Things were going smoothly for my husband and me until I gave birth to our daughter. He believed I wasn't doing anything all day while he was at work, so I decided to leave home for a week to prove to him that this wasn't true at all.

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After finding out that I was pregnant, I quit my job in order to focus on being a mother and wife. My husband Dave supported my decision and thought this would be better for our child in the long run.

Thankfully, I had an easy pregnancy without complications. I was able to move around a lot, so I would often go to the market and return home to cook something for my husband. During my pregnancy, my nesting instincts kicked in pretty early, too, so as early as my second trimester, I was energized to keep cleaning our home most of the time.

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

"Our house has never looked this great, honey," my husband commented once. "Thanks for keeping everything together for us," he said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

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I smiled, happy that he appreciated my efforts. I continued to do this until I gave birth at 39 weeks. When my daughter came, she became my entire world. A human being relied on me for everything – how could I prioritize anything else?

To my husband, I was simply being lazy. He commented on how messy the house had gotten, and how we had been eating the same type of food for several days. "I don't have time to cook up something new every day," I told him. "Marissa cries a lot and is a colicky baby. She needs me," I would explain.

Dave shook his head, thinking I was lying. "Marissa can stay in the crib while you attend to things in the house," he replied. "It won't even take that long!"

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

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"Why don't you try it, then?" I suddenly blew up. "I'm trying my best to be a great mom to our child. Do you know how exhausting it is to breastfeed every two hours? And in between, she wants to be held. She cries every time I put her down in the crib. I literally have NO time to do anything else!"

"What are you trying to say?" he shot back. "I work the entire day, and I come home to an unkempt house and food that I've reheated from the fridge more than twice. How in the world wouldn't I be frustrated with that? Stop hiding behind the child and just admit you're being a lazy wife."

My eyes were filled with tears at this point. "That hurt," I told him, walking away to enter our room.

How could he not realize how difficult it was to raise a child alone? Yes, he supported us financially, but he was barely home. And every time he was home, he barely helped with the baby except for when I needed to take a quick shower or use the bathroom.

At that moment, I realized my husband would never understand things from my point of view unless I showed him what I had to go through on a daily basis. One weekend, I left Marissa with Dave. She was asleep on top of him, and I used that as my signal to head down the stairs.

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For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

In the kitchen, I left him a note that read: "I'm going on vacation and will return in a week. Marissa's milk is in the fridge."

I turned off my phone, grabbed my bag, and left. I booked a trip to the beach and spent an entire week doing things for myself that I hadn't done in a while.

When Dave realized that I was gone, he rushed down the stairs and found my note. He was both shocked and pissed.

My mother-in-law was furious. "How can that woman be so irresponsible! It is a woman's job to raise her children, not a man's! If she couldn't take raising a child and keeping the house in order then she should not have gotten married," she said.

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He had no choice but to care for Marissa alone, as no nanny or babysitter was available at such short notice. During the weekend, he didn't realize how difficult it was to care for a child. He changed her diapers, gave her a bath, fed her, burped her, and so much more.

"I get it!" he yelled at one point. "Just come home already," he begged to no one in particular.

I monitored how the house looked from my daughter's baby monitors around the house and saw that Dave didn't have time to wash the dishes or make meals. He ordered food every single day.

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

That week, he had to juggle work and raising Marissa alone. By Wednesday, he could no longer take it and he called his mother. "Mom," he cried on the phone. "Jamie left for a vacation leaving nothing but a note. Can you please help me? I haven't slept in days!" he complained.

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My mother-in-law was furious. "How can that woman be so irresponsible!" I heard her yell from the baby monitor. "It is a woman's job to raise her children, not a man's! If she couldn't take raising a child and keeping the house in order then she should not have gotten married," she said.

I scoffed upon hearing her speak. To me, she had no right to accuse me of irresponsibility – she had nannies to raise her children! Dave and I had no money to afford that luxury.

When I got home, Dave apologized to me and realized that I needed and deserved that vacation. "I'm sorry, honey," he said in a sincere tone.

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

For illustration purposes only. | Source: Unsplash

"You go through so much in a day, and I still demanded things from you. I'm sorry, please forgive me. I promise to become a more present parent and share responsibilities with you. You and Marissa deserve that and so much more," he added, giving me a tight hug.

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I am bothered by what my mother-in-law said about me and wanted to hear from people who went through the same thing. Should a woman be solely responsible for raising her children and keeping the house in order, or should things be equally divided between spouses?

Tell us what you think, and share this story with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.

If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a policeman who rushed a pregnant woman to the hospital, only to become the father of the newborn later.

This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone's life. If you would like to share your story, please send it to info@amomama.com.

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