Jessie Mei Li's Partner Has Autism – Facts about Her Personal Life

Jesse Mei Li's rise to prominence playing Alina Starkov in Netflix's fantasy drama, "Shadow and Bone," brought public attention to areas of her personal life, including her partner.

The actress leads a private life and is not very active on social media. However, some aspects of her life off-screen are revealed through a few of her posts and interviews.

In one Instagram post, she mentioned that she has ADHD and had a partner who has autism. Nevertheless, her romantic life remains shrouded in mystery. She has been linked with a few people, including co-star Ben Barnes. Still, Mei Li says that she is queer.

Jessie Mei Li Shared a Glimpse into Her Personal Life in 2021

While celebrating neurodiversity week in March of 2021, Mei Li revealed that she had been diagnosed with ADHD at 24. She says the revelation helped answer several lifelong questions and helped her understand herself more. She encouraged people in similar situations to keep being themselves and proud of it.

Continuing her lengthy Instagram post, Mei Li also praised the neurodivergent people in her life, saying "I want to celebrate the neurodivergent people in my life - the autistic people that I love: my partner and my dad and my autistic pals, my fellow ADHD gang." However, the partner's identity or any other information was not disclosed.

Mei Li is vocal about neurodivergence and advocates for people with such conditions not to feel damaged, sad, or sick. While speaking to W magazine, she continued her educational talk by saying:

"ADHD isn't a disability, autism isn't a disability in the way that I think lots of people see it as. Things are harder because the world isn't set up with you in mind necessarily, but it doesn't mean that you can't still have the successes you want and the relationships you want."

Very little private information is known about the actress besides that. Even though she mentioned having a partner in the 2021 post, it is unclear if she is currently dating anyone. Mei Li recently talked about her love for her friend and colleague Daisy Head, who she said was the love of her life and would marry her if she (Head) was gay.

Fans Noticed the Chemistry between Jessie Mei Li and Ben Barnes

While promoting the second season of "Shadow and Bone," some observant fans noticed that co-stars Mei Li and Ben Barnes seemed closer. During a press conference, the two could be seen physically flirting. At one point, Barnes stretches out his pinky finger toward Mei Li's hands, bringing out smiles from both.

Those seductive interactions between the two actors quickly sparked speculation that the two were secretly dating. Interestingly, that is not the first time the pair have been romantically linked. A similar video from 2022 highlighted some great chemistry they share and ignited some rumors.

Additionally, from as far back as 2021, some fans on Twitter were already asking questions about the pair. @tris_garcia commented, "[I]s ben barnes dating jessie mei li pls all their photos are literally so cute (sic)?" @Zaynspatton pointed out, "Jessie Mei Li and Ben Barnes are never beating the secretly dating allegations."

Some fans seemed to be against the dating rumors saying it would be inappropriate for them to be in a relationship given their age difference. @lvsthenameshkjs said Barnes would never date Mei Li as he saw her as his little sister. An enthusiastic fan even created a Twitter account dedicated to the two alleged lovebirds.

What Does Jessie Mei Li Identify As?

Mei Li discussed her struggles with gender identity when she was younger. She said she had a complex relationship with the idea, and an honest conversation about it with a friend going through similar experiences helped her get some clarity. She explained:

“I was thinking, ‘Well, am I completely non-binary? What am I?’ And I realized, actually I am who I am. I'm first and foremost, just a human being who likes what I like.”

On her Instagram bio, Mei Li noted that she uses they/them and she/her pronouns. She is not particularly bothered about which gender people assign to her.

In 2021, while discussing her character, Alina Starkov, in "Shadow and Bone," she revealed that she is queer. She was happy the series showed viewers queer relationships, helping them feel normal.