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Julia Roberts | Nancy Motes' note | Getty Images | twitter.com/JohnBDilbeck
Julia Roberts | Nancy Motes' note | Getty Images | twitter.com/JohnBDilbeck

Julia Roberts’ Half-Sister in Suicide Note Blames Julia & Family for Driving Her to ‘Deepest Depression’

Milly Wanjiku Ndirangu
Oct 08, 2023
04:00 A.M.
  • Nancy Motes, the 37-year-old half-sister of Hollywood star Julia Roberts, was found dead in a bathtub at a Los Angeles home in February 2014.
  • In a five-page suicide note, she accused Roberts and the rest of her family of bullying her for being overweight and blocking her access to their mother, who had lung cancer.
  • She also expressed her love and apology to her fiancé, John Dilbeck, who has since blamed Roberts for showing no sadness or remorse over Motes' death.
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Julia Roberts at the UK premiere of "Duplicity" in London on March 10, 2009 | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts at the UK premiere of "Duplicity" in London on March 10, 2009 | Source: Getty Images

Behind the glittering façade of Hollywood, fame and fortune often come with their own set of shadows. Behind the dazzling smiles and red-carpet appearances, there are stories of heartache and tragedy that are sometimes hidden from the spotlight.

Such is the heart-wrenching story of Nancy Motes, the late half-sister of Hollywood icon Julia Roberts. Her life was marked by pain, struggle, and a tragic ending that left a void in the entertainment world.

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Motes' battle with depression and her intricate ties to her famous sister culminated in a heart-wrenching tragedy. It was in early 2014 when the world learned of Motes' heartbreaking demise.

The news sent shockwaves through Hollywood and beyond as her suicide note revealed the depth of her despair. A source close to the investigation disclosed that Motes' note laid bare her tortured relationship with her Oscar-winning sister, Roberts.

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The Tragic Discovery

In February 2014, John Dilbeck, Motes' fiancé, faced a harrowing discovery as he found her lifeless in a Los Angeles residence where she was caring for a client's pet. This grim scene that forever altered the lives of those connected to her suggested that she had been gone for a considerable duration before the discovery, leaving a shroud of unanswered questions in her wake.

Initial observations hinted at a potential overdose, given the presence of both prescribed and over-the-counter drugs at the scene. The precise role these substances played in Motes' tragic end remained uncertain.

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Motes' passing had a profound impact, prompting Roberts to withdraw from public engagements, including a scheduled appearance on "Jimmy Kimmel Live." Despite the complexities that marked their relationship, the grief was palpable.

Julia Roberts at the world premiere of "Mona Lisa Smile" at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City on December 10, 2003 | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts at the world premiere of "Mona Lisa Smile" at the Ziegfeld Theatre in New York City on December 10, 2003 | Source: Getty Images

The Unveiling of a Heart-Wrenching Letter

The investigation into her untimely demise revealed a haunting suicide note that laid bare the torment she had endured. Speculation ran rampant, and the world awaited official confirmation of the heartbreaking truth. In the aftermath of Motes' tragic death, the narrative surrounding her suicide note gradually came into focus.

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Motes' letter, though not quite the reported five pages, held the weight of her anguish in every word and offered a glimpse into the depths of her emotional struggles and the demons that had haunted her. It was a cry for help, a desperate plea for understanding, and a testament to the weight of the burdens she had carried.

In it, she bared her soul and didn't mince words, blaming her despair on the family she felt had pushed her to the brink. She placed the blame for her despair squarely on the shoulders of her superstar stepsister, Roberts. The emotional note was divided into three sections: one addressed to her fiancé, Dilbeck, another to her mother, Betty, and Roberts, and a third to everyone.

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Addressing Dilbeck, Motes expressed her love and gratitude, recognizing him as her "one true love" and "best friend." She begged for forgiveness, stating that she felt unworthy of his affections and acknowledging her struggles with addiction. She apologized for the pain she knew her passing would cause him, conveying her enduring love.

To her mother and Roberts, however, Motes had nothing but resentment and anger. She lamented, "My mother and so-called ‘siblings’ get nothing except the memory that they are the ones that drove me into the deepest depression I've ever been in." Her note painted a poignant picture of her daily struggles with depression, causing her to burst into tears each morning.

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Julia Roberts during an interview, circa 1990, in New York | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts during an interview, circa 1990, in New York | Source: Getty Images

Sisterly Tensions and Bonds

Beneath the veneer of glamour, the relationship between Roberts and her sister, Motes, was far from ordinary. Their bond had been marred by tensions and complexities that ran deep. While the note did not delve into the specifics of their strained interactions, it was evident that their connection had been marred by conflict and turmoil.

Julia Roberts at the screening of "Armageddon Time" during the 75th annual Cannes Film Festival, Palais des Festivals, Cannes, France, May 19, 2022 | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts at the screening of "Armageddon Time" during the 75th annual Cannes Film Festival, Palais des Festivals, Cannes, France, May 19, 2022 | Source: Getty Images

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The once inseparable sisters had embarked on a tumultuous journey through life, their paths diverging and their relationship becoming strained and turbulent. While the world celebrated Roberts' ascent to stardom, Motes grappled with the challenges of living in her sister's shadow.

Lisa Roberts Gillan and her sister, actress and producer Julia Roberts, attend the premiere of "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl" on June 19, 2008 | Source: Getty Images

Lisa Roberts Gillan and her sister, actress and producer Julia Roberts, attend the premiere of "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl" on June 19, 2008 | Source: Getty Images

Their differences had been a source of friction, and their interactions were often marked by conflict and misunderstanding. Despite the love that once bound them as family, the passage of time had taken its toll on their relationship. Motes recalled Roberts' criticism of her appearance during her teenage years, a hurtful experience that had deeply affected her.

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Her journey towards self-improvement, which included gastric bypass surgery, reflected her determination to heal both physically and emotionally. As she battled her weight, she hoped that this transformation would mend the rift between her and Roberts. Her transformation, both physical and emotional, she said, was a work in progress.

In a candid interview she gave before her passing, Motes spoke of her desire to change the dynamics between her and her famous sibling. It was a glimmer of hope, a belief that their love for each other could transcend the scars of the past.

Betty Lou Bredemus and Julia Roberts at the "Benny & Joon" premiere in Los Angeles, California | Source: Getty Images

Betty Lou Bredemus and Julia Roberts at the "Benny & Joon" premiere in Los Angeles, California | Source: Getty Images

John Dilbeck's Perspective

Days after the six-year anniversary of Motes' tragic passing, her fiancé, Dilbeck, spoke out, expressing deep resentment towards Roberts. He accused Roberts of showing no remorse or sadness over Motes' death and criticized her for failing to pay tribute to her half-sister's memory.

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Julia Roberts participates in a press conference for the release of "The Pelican Brief," a film adaptation of the book by John Grisham | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts participates in a press conference for the release of "The Pelican Brief," a film adaptation of the book by John Grisham | Source: Getty Images

According to Dilbeck, Motes believed that Roberts harbored jealousy regarding her close relationship with their mother, Betty, who sadly succumbed to lung cancer in 2015. Motes saw herself as Betty's primary caregiver and believed that Roberts sought to distance her from their mother.

Dilbeck said Roberts' actions included obstructing Motes' access to Betty and excluding her from family gatherings, such as Thanksgiving and Christmas, seeing Motes as an outsider or "peasant" in the family.

Julia Roberts was spotted with her mother, Betty Lou Bredemus on August 23, 2001, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts was spotted with her mother, Betty Lou Bredemus on August 23, 2001, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

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Motes moved to Los Angeles in 2010, alongside Dilbeck and Betty, with hopes of building a life together. However, her ongoing battle with depression and her feud with Roberts dashed her plans for a wedding in May 2014.

Betty Lou Bredemus, Danny Moder, and Julia Roberts were spotted together on January 22, 2006, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Betty Lou Bredemus, Danny Moder, and Julia Roberts were spotted together on January 22, 2006, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Dilbeck laid blame on Roberts for intimidating and harassing Motes, detailing the taunting Motes endured from her elder half-sibling due to her weight. He contended that Roberts made life difficult for Motes, believing that Betty favored Motes as a child and that no amount of fame could change that.

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He said Roberts even displayed envy towards Motes' dog, Zelda, who easily secured movie roles, while Roberts struggled to secure minor parts.

Upon the couple's move to Los Angeles, Roberts secured a house for Betty in Pacific Palisades, leaving no room for Motes. Dilbeck asserted that Roberts actively blocked Motes from visiting Betty and retaliated each time Motes attempted to see her in the hospital.

Julia Roberts was photographed arriving at the premiere of "Mother's Day" on April 13, 2016, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Julia Roberts was photographed arriving at the premiere of "Mother's Day" on April 13, 2016, in Los Angeles, California. | Source: Getty Images

Roberts orchestrated events that led to Betty spending Thanksgiving alone, despite Motes being the only family member in town, and banned Motes from her property. Additionally, Roberts organized Betty's attendance at Christmas at her New Mexico ranch, causing Motes deep emotional distress. Motes was once again excluded from these gatherings, receiving hurtful texts.

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Dilbeck emphasized that Roberts consistently viewed Motes as an outsider in the family, and he would never forget the impact of Roberts' actions on Motes. He continues to love and miss her every day.

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The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org.

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