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Am I Wrong for Banning My MIL from Seeing Her Grandchild?

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Feb 15, 2024
10:13 A.M.

A woman was concerned about her mother-in-law's behavior towards her unborn child. At first, she thought she could ignore it, but she lost her composure and banned her mother-in-law from seeing the baby.

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A woman took it to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for not letting her mother-in-law see her child. The Original Poster (OP) explained that she and her husband were expecting their first child together. But his mother's excitement about becoming a grandmother was a bit off-putting for the Redditor.

A couple holding an ultrasound scan | Source: Shutterstock

A couple holding an ultrasound scan | Source: Shutterstock

Firstly, the OP said her mother-in-law would often refer to her unborn child as hers. She would say, "I can't wait for my baby to be born. My baby is going to be so loved." The possession that she took over her child was uncomfortable for the wife, but her husband told her to ignore the remarks.

The mother-in-law (MIL) had the idea to throw her daughter-in-law a baby shower. The excited grandmother said she and her friends had made a pact to celebrate their children's weddings and baby showers, and since the OP and her husband eloped, she felt that the OP owed her the opportunity to throw a baby shower.

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A younger woman and an elderly woman happy about a pregancy | Source: Shutterstock

A younger woman and an elderly woman happy about a pregancy | Source: Shutterstock

The OP asked if she could invite her friends, but the MIL said no. The baby shower was only for her friends, and she told the mother-to-be she could have a separate one with her friends. Although the Redditor had doubts, she agreed.

The woman and her husband spent a lot of time putting together a registry and sharing it with the MIL and her friends, as she had instructed. The parents planned a garden-themed nursery, so all the items were based on that.

People at a baby shower  | Source: Shutterstock

People at a baby shower | Source: Shutterstock

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The OP was also asked what she wanted on her cake, and she said flowers to go with her garden theme. However, she was surprised to find a circus animal theme at the baby shower. The OP did not fuss about it and thought executing her garden idea might have been challenging.

But she was even more shocked when all her gifts were different circus animals. The OP was confused and even went back to the registry to see if she had gotten something wrong, as nothing from her gifts was on the list she shared with her MIL's friends.

A couple holding a "boy or girl" balloon | Source: Shutterstock

A couple holding a "boy or girl" balloon | Source: Shutterstock

When her husband arrived, he was also confused and asked, "What's up with all the circus animals?" Then he got a look at the presents and added, "This isn't what we asked for." Immediately, the husband asked his mother what she had done.

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The grandmother said she did not like the theme his wife chose. "I'm going to decorate my baby's nursery at my house with circus animals, so I created a registry for myself," she continued. The husband was at a loss for words, but his mother did not back down. "My baby is going to need a room at my house, so I threw a shower for myself," she reiterated.

A sad pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

A sad pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

The things she was saying made both the husband and his wife furious. The OP made it clear that her MIL would not ever see her baby, and she started crying, telling the couple that they were keeping her away from her baby.

Now, the OP and her husband were receiving texts from the rest of the family calling them selfish and blaming them for ruining the MIL's experience of becoming a grandmother.

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Two women having an argument | Source: Shutterstock

Two women having an argument | Source: Shutterstock

People in the comments did not think the OP was wrong. Commenters believed she needed to take necessary precautions against her MIL. The MIL's behavior alarmed many readers; some were glad the OP's husband was on her side.

One commenter even stated: "MIL needs therapy. OP and her husband need to take all of the great advice already offered in this thread and keep MIL well away from their child."

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One Redditor suggested that the OP find a reasonable attorney that deals with Child Protective Services because they fear the MIL could weaponize the system. Another wanted the OP to be proactive and document everything.

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Do you think this is the worst mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship that could exist? Here is another story about a woman who embarrassed her mother-in-law in front of the family.

After embarrassing her mother-in-law in front of the entire family, a woman took to Reddit to share her story. She wondered whether she went too far with what happened, especially after how everyone reacted.

The woman's mother-in-law, Barbara, always had the worst comments for her. She was very critical of her daughter-in-law and constantly found a way to insult her.

A judgmental woman | Source: Pexels

A judgmental woman | Source: Pexels

Before going on to say what happened, she narrated the instances where her mother-in-law embarrassed her in front of everybody. She once slammed the woman for coloring her hair, saying she committed a sin for changing God's chosen hair color for her.

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Another time, she threw away some of the woman's lingerie, saying her son shouldn't be seeing them as they were sinful. Her mother-in-law was a very conservative person, and it never changed.

Before getting married, the woman's mother-in-law threatened her not to get pregnant, or else she and the rest of the family would disown the baby. These were only some of the many things her mother-in-law would do to her.

A frustrated woman | Source: Pexels

A frustrated woman | Source: Pexels

More recently, the woman's mother-in-law started making comments on her appearance. She'd send her boxes of tea and essential oils to try and better her skin.

Initially, the woman would refuse them because they'd make her stomach act up. So as not to cause trouble, she never said whether or not she ever took the tea.

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One day, she visited her in-laws for lunch while her husband, Tommy, was at work. Barbara examined her daughter-in-law's face while everybody was eating and blurted out that it looked better.

A woman eating food | Source: Pexels

A woman eating food | Source: Pexels

Things Took a Turn for Worse

Barbara implied that the tea she gave "finally yielded some pretty good results," as her face was no longer "pale and outworn" like it used to be.

Everyone stopped eating and stared at the woman to see her reaction. At this point, the woman was stunned and speechless. She felt embarrassed by the sudden remark.

To spite her mother-in-law, she came up with the most witty answer: "No, Tommy's actually been helping me out with de-stress every night in his own special way," she replied, winking.

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Family dinner | Source: Pexels

Family dinner | Source: Pexels

Everybody started laughing upon hearing this, and the woman's mother-in-law widened her eyes in shock. She excused herself and walked out of the room.

That night, Barbara called her daughter-in-law and flipped out about being disrespectful. She accused her of taking advantage of her son and demanded an apology.

A shocked woman | Source: Pexels

A shocked woman | Source: Pexels

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Comments From Internet Users

Ultimately, the woman wondered whether she'd ruined her relationship with her in-laws. She took to Reddit to ask for opinions, and people made sure to give her some advice.

"You need to remove this toxic woman from your life and your husband needs to address this [expletive] with his mother," one user said. "She embarrassed you and has been doing so regularly. You stood up for yourself," another assured her.

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Others pressed on to see whether or not her husband Tommy knew about the things his mother had been doing to his wife. "Why is her husband not shutting this down? Why is he letting his mother treat his wife like this?" someone asked.

"Where is the husband?! Why/ How/ Where is he letting this happen? To his wife? And the family bystanders?" someone echoed. "And why is mommy's little darling boy not standing up for you? He's leaving you to twist in the wind," said one commenter.

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People urged the woman to stand up for herself. They felt she was not being respected by her own in-laws, which merited intervention from her husband.

What do you think of the woman's situation? Do you think she was right for standing up for herself? What would you have done?

In a similar story, a man wondered whether he was wrong for asking his mother-in-law to leave his wedding after causing him severe allergic reactions.

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