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A pregnant woman on the phone | Source: Shutterstock
A pregnant woman on the phone | Source: Shutterstock

My Surrogate Was Acting like She Was My Husband's Wife – I Was Horrified When I Overheard Her Real Plan

Vanessa Seifert
Mar 28, 2024
08:55 A.M.

I had long awaited the day my husband and I could have children, but due to my health issues, we had to opt for surrogacy. I thought choosing someone close to me as the surrogate would be a good idea, but it turned into a turbulent emotional rollercoaster.

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My husband, Tom, and I have been together for five years. We've always wanted a family, but due to my health issues, we found out pretty early it would be impossible for me to carry children.

A couple having a conversation in bed | Source: Shutterstock

A couple having a conversation in bed | Source: Shutterstock

We decided surrogacy was the best option for us, and one of my friends suggested her sister, Brittany, be the surrogate mother. Knowing Brittany and her family well, I agreed immediately. We started discussing the logistics, including a payment plan and how things would work during the pregnancy.

Two women talking | Source: Shutterstock

Two women talking | Source: Shutterstock

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However, the first step already showed signs of the tough journey ahead. When Brittany found out she was pregnant, she informed only my husband and sent him the picture of the pregnancy test, even though she had both our contacts.

A woman holding a pregnancy test | Source: Shutterstocl

A woman holding a pregnancy test | Source: Shutterstocl

The complications did not end there; they worsened when Brittany was given access to my husband’s credit card. She justified it by saying she needed the money to cover the baby’s needs.

A person paying with a card | Source: Shutterstock

A person paying with a card | Source: Shutterstock

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Everything was rubbing me the wrong way, but since this was a first-time experience for both my husband and me, we thought it was better to let it all slide. I also took into consideration that Brittany was carrying my child, something I could not do, so I managed to have the patience.

A woman holding an ultrasound scan | Source: Shutterstock

A woman holding an ultrasound scan | Source: Shutterstock

Despite my efforts to overlook things, Brittany never included me in the doctor’s appointments. She always said it was easier to coordinate with my husband because he drove, and I was always unavailable, working the entire day.

A woman at the doctor | Source: Shutterstock

A woman at the doctor | Source: Shutterstock

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My husband also did not say anything, but I could not be mad at him because none of this was normal for us, and we were figuring out how to make it work. However, I felt increasingly excluded from the whole process.

A woman thinking | Source: Shutterstock

A woman thinking | Source: Shutterstock

Brittany is now seven months pregnant, and we are all excited for the process to end and finally meet our long-awaited child. But then, Brittany brought a big surprise. She arrived at our house with her mother and started telling me she had changed her mind about giving us the baby.

A pregnant woman at the doctor | Source: Shutterstock

A pregnant woman at the doctor | Source: Shutterstock

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I must mention that we did not draw up a contract because my friend insisted we could trust Brittany. So this all came as a shock. Brittany then listed how things would be from now on, insisting that there had been a confusion because of how a had complained and stressed her out in the past.

A man arguing with a pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

A man arguing with a pregnant woman | Source: Shutterstock

She insisted on having a say in the baby's name, especially after I deleted the list of names she sent to my husband. She wants continued access to Tom’s credit card and his help with chores at her place. She also demanded more time with the baby than we had initially agreed upon.

A pregnant woman arguing with a man | Source: Shutterstock

A pregnant woman arguing with a man | Source: Shutterstock

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Brittany continued to push for my husband to be in the delivery room with her, using the hospital policy as an excuse. That was the last straw for me. I stood up and voiced my disagreement with what Brittany was proposing.

A woman with her fists on the table | Source: Shutterstock

A woman with her fists on the table | Source: Shutterstock

I told her to stop acting as if she was my husband’s wife and that this was their baby. My husband remained quiet until Brittany started crying and begged me to sit down. Despite this, I emphasized my boundaries, reminded Brittany of her role in this arrangement, and told her she was overstepping.

A couple arguing | Source: Shutterstock

A couple arguing | Source: Shutterstock

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Things deteriorated further when her mother accused me of mistreating Brittany, who had undergone mental and physical strain to perform this selfless act for us, making us a family. She added that Brittany had sacrificed a part of her life to give us what we wanted, and I was acting selfishly and ungratefully.

The aftermath of the talk left a very hostile environment. Toward the end of the pregnancy, we had Brittany move in with us to be there when the baby arrived. I considered apologizing, thinking maybe I had been too harsh, especially since she was carrying our baby.

An elder woman talking to woman | Source: Shutterstock

An elder woman talking to woman | Source: Shutterstock

However, as I approached the guest room where she was staying, I overheard her plotting with Sheila on the phone. They were crafting a story to portray Brittany as Tom's mistress and build a case using his consistent attendance at medical appointments, his presence at the childbirth, and his financial support for her—all without his wife's knowledge.

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A pregnant woman on the phone | Source: Shutterstock

A pregnant woman on the phone | Source: Shutterstock

Their plan was to secure full custody for Brittany after the baby's birth, ensuring she would receive child support from Tom and the baby would inherit his assets. They even toyed with the idea of Brittany marrying Tom, though she admitted her interest was in his wealth, not him.

A woman listening through the door | Source: Shutterstock

A woman listening through the door | Source: Shutterstock

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I was taken aback but managed to record their conversation. The next day, we confronted Brittany, presenting a contract that outlined their entire scheme. She hesitated to sign but complied after the lawyer played the recording and suggested a peaceful resolution. After the baby's birth, Brittany and Sheila vanished from our lives.

A happy family | Source: Shutterstock

A happy family | Source: Shutterstock

Before overhearing that conversation, I reflected and thought I might have overreacted due to the emotional toll the whole experience was taking on me and my marriage. But in the end, my suspicions were not in vain. It saddens me that we had to face so many hurdles and heartaches, but ultimately, I was able to have the family I wished for.

Continue reading or click here to find out about this woman's experience as a surrogate.

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A 31-year-old female on Reddit revealed her family had mistreated her ever since she came to be. She has an older sister named Mary, 33, who has always been the favorite in their household and described by their parents as "the golden apple baby." The Original Poster (OP) explained that she, on the other hand, "was an accident," having been born prematurely with a heart condition, adding:

"Growing up, I was in and out of the hospital receiving countless surgeries."

As if that were not enough, OP's parents constantly told her that she was draining up their money even though her grandparents always chipped in for shortfalls.

An elderly couple sitting with their granddaughter | Source: Pexels

An elderly couple sitting with their granddaughter | Source: Pexels

Regarding her relationship with her sister, OP revealed Mary never hid the hatred she felt for her and bullied her relentlessly while their parents failed to intervene. Once she graduated high school, she made sure to get away from her by asking their grandparents to pay for her college fees in another state.

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That was the "best decision" for OP because that is where she met her now-husband Greg, who treats her better. After the couple graduated, they wed, and the bride's grandparents paid for the wedding as her parents refused, saying they had already spent a lot of money on her sister's wedding the previous year.

The bride and groom standing beside the window | Source: Pexels

The bride and groom standing beside the window | Source: Pexels

OP said her mom and dad even snubbed her wedding, and she and her newly wedded spouse decided to settle in the city where they graduated. From that point, she rarely communicated with her family apart from her grandparents.

The couple later welcomed a son together, and OP revealed it was a high-risk pregnancy. Doctors even advised her to terminate because the results could be dire, but the mother and son luckily made it. But she almost died as the condition put a strain on her heart. OP revealed:

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"I was strongly urged by doctors to not have any more children and we agreed."

A woman carrying a baby in the theater room | Source: Pexels

A woman carrying a baby in the theater room | Source: Pexels

About a month ago, OP and her husband and child moved back to her hometown as her grandfather's health started to decline. She wanted to be near him. After moving back there, her mother and sister started acting "nice" toward her.

"My mom would ask me how I was doing and tell me how proud she was of me, which is something she never does. My sister would join and do the same. I knew something was up," said OP.

OP was invited to her parents' home for a family dinner two weeks later. While seated at the table, her sister told her she had a gift for her. Mary took out a card, and OP opened it, hoping it was an apology letter. She recalled:

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"But no, to my surprise it was a letter stating that my sister found out she's infertile and congratulating me on becoming her surrogate."

Two women standing in the living room | Source: Pexels

Two women standing in the living room | Source: Pexels

OP said she was "floored" by that and told Mary she could not be her surrogate. She attempted to explain what her pregnancy did to her heart, and Mary started crying. OP's parents began screaming at her, saying she was being selfish for not wanting to help her sibling. She told them doctors advised her not to have any more children, only for them to say, "For family, you take risks."

"I couldn't believe it. I grabbed my husband and stormed out. I can't help but to feel bad still," OP expressed in her post. She asked Reddit users whether she was a bad person for not wanting to be her sister's surrogate, risking her health in the process.

Redditors commented on the situation, saying she is not wrong for not wanting to risk her own health. They mentioned that it was apparent they were using her and that she and her husband and child should move away for her sanity. Someone else said OP should not feel bad about shutting down people who think her life is disposable.

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