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August 30, 2018

My husband has been having an affair for the past year and can't leave him

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The following letter has been edited for clarity and coherence.

Dear AmoMama,

My husband has been having an affair for the past year. He met her at his Drs. office. And has been seeing her since he had a minor heart attack back in Sept.

last year. Then all of a sudden in March he stopped talking to me...and it's not something new for him to not talk to me, he gets mad about any little thing and stops talking to me. But he had been so nice to me three months before.

Like never before, and then silence. For his birthday he came home at 7 in the morning with balloons, saying that he had gotten them from a bank.

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At Christmas, I found a receipt from a flower shop where he sent her roses. But he sent them to her under a different name.

Still, he said I was crazy, he stopped talking to my children at some point. And has told me he has tired of me, that I never initiate sex.

I've been sleeping in the living room, he comes to me sometimes late at night wanting sex. I just say no, I don't know what kind of diseases she has.

I don't have any family, I can't find a job, I have two boys, and he has always threatened that he won't pay child support or alimony. I'm feeling stuck.

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Dear Subscriber,

Whatever you husband might say, he will be obliged by law to provide for your children. He seems to have alienated himself from the entire family, including his children, and only comes to you for sex.

He is holding your financial dependence over you as a weapon, forcing you to stay in an unbearable situation.

Your fear and insecurity are what have you "stuck." Break out, make a sensible plan to change your life. 

You would be advised to seek legal advice from a lawyer with regards to your rights and your children's rights. Contact women's support groups that might provide help in finding legal help starting a new life.

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Be strong, be happy, be yourself.

Do you agree with our advice? What do you think this subscriber could do to solve her problem?

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

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