September 13, 2018

'I'm a graduate living with my parents, but my mom is turning my life into a nightmare'

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Dear Celebritist,

I’m supposed to be living the best years of my life, or at least have some peace of mind, but my life is a nightmare right now. I’m a 24-year-old college graduate, but unlike many of my friends, I had to return home after graduating.

It’s been hard to find a job within my field, so the one I have right now pays a little above minimum wage. I’m currently applying to grad school, but meanwhile, I’m living with my parents. Now, while my dad is mostly working, and I don’t see him that often, he’s the sweetest and most relaxed man ever. My mom, on the other hand, is making my life impossible.

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For the few months I’ve been living with them, she’s done nothing but scream and scowls at me every chance she gets. I shouldn’t be jumping every time she addresses me, but I’m afraid she will start yelling about how I am a disappointment and how useless is my life. She always finds ways to get mad at me, whether is because I didn’t wash the dishes the night before (I was planning on cleaning them in the morning) or because I got home ten minutes late, or because I’m on my phone “too much.”

It gets worse when she does the same in public. She tries to embarrass me by yelling at the grocery store about things that should remain private, and even in the rare occasions we’re with my dad, she acts cold and tells me to be quiet the whole time. My dad also asked her what’s wrong, but she blatantly seems to hate me and doesn’t even try to hide it.

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I’ve been holding on because with my job I can barely pay for taxes and car insurance, so I can’t move out by myself and be able to afford all the bills that come with living alone. However, a few days ago she crossed a line, and now I’m seriously considering getting out of here and deal with whatever comes on my own.

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One thing is to be verbally and mentally abused, but in the middle of a stupid argument we had because of my cell phone bill, which she pays because I’m on her insurance plan, she slapped me and spat on my face before telling me how worthless I am.

I know I shouldn’t be going through this, I know I have to move out, but is hard when money is an issue. I’ve been trying to find other alternatives, jobs, and even asked for the help of some friends but they can barely cover their expenses.

To make things more complicated, my mom has been threatening my dad she’s going to leave if I don’t do it first. She also said she would call the police and ask them to take me out forcefully. She’s not happy I’m here.

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My plan here is to find another job, so I can work all day and don’t have to see her face, save up enough to at least be able to pay one month of rent, and just…try and find some peace of mind.

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I don’t wish anyone to go through this kind of situation. I wish I could hate my mom for her actions, but I still care about her. I’m afraid she might be having some undiagnosed mental illness, but she’ll never accept it.

I guess I just need some words of comfort or new ideas because I can’t seem to think of anything else. 

If you need help or advice, reach out to us, and thousands of women just like you who are struggling with the difficulties of life. You are not alone, we are here for you, and we listen; so write to us anonymously using this form.

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