I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost three years now. Our relationship has grown exponentially in the past year, and I think I’m ready to take the next step. And while for many that step would be marriage, we have talked about it and concluded that it’d be better to test the waters and live together first.
This, of course, is frowned upon by many people, and since I grew up in a very conservative, religious household, my parents are not happy with this decision, and they’re letting me have it.
The thing is, even though I consider myself a religious person with strong beliefs, some things just don’t sit well with me about the church, considering the times we live in. My parents are that kind of conservative people that believe sex before marriage is a sin, so, when I told them I’d be moving in with my love, they strongly opposed.
Is not that they don’t like him. I’m proud to say they have welcomed him with open arms because we have similar backgrounds, values, and beliefs, and we balance each other well.
They don’t understand why we want to live together if we’re not ready to get married. I tried to explain that it makes sense for us in many ways, financially, logistically and emotionally, to rent only one apartment (because he spends most nights with me anyway), share expenses and get to experience life together with all its ups and downs before going for the full commitment.
My mom has tried to persuade me in every possible way; she even printed statistics about how most couples who live together before marriage end up splitting in the end. I also got the “what are our relatives going to say?” speech and the “what did we do wrong for you to want to live in immorality?” sermon.
I stand on my ground, and my boyfriend supports me. We’re a few weeks away from signing the lease, and my parents still refuse to accept or at least respect my decision. They even tried to intimidate my boyfriend into buying me a ring!
I know for them is hard to see their only daughter living with a man, but I wish they could try and understand my position and most of all, I wish they could trust that I’m doing what I think is best for me and my relationship.
The moving in is happening with or without their consent, but I feel like this is going to create a gap in our relationship, and deep, deep down I don’t want to take this massive step in my life without my parents’ support.
What could be the best way to try and make them understand my position? Should I wait a bit more before moving in until they change their minds? Or should I go for it and wait for them to come around eventually?
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