'My boyfriend agreed on an abortion as we weren't ready to be parents. Now he’s shaming me for it'
About a year and a half ago I got pregnant, my birth control failed. At the time, having a baby was just not in the cards for me. My relationship was still in its first stages; there was also the money issue and the fact that I didn’t felt ready to be someone’s mom.
I expressed my worries to my boyfriend, and we both decided that an abortion was the best option. I took the home pill, and it was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life, both physically and emotionally. He was there the whole time, and I could tell he cried at some point, but he was supportive and caring through the entire thing.
Recently I found out I’m pregnant, again. I was told the IUD was 99% safe, so we were having sex without a condom, and he was pulling out, but it seemed like only one occasion when he wasn’t quick was enough, and here we are again.
Before taking the test, we both agreed that, if it came out positive, we would be ok with it. But once the test showed positive I was so overwhelmed that I started bawling my eyes out. I honestly don’t think we’re ready for a baby, but I also don’t feel capable of going through a second abortion. The first one was enough to make me feel guilty for a lifetime.
My boyfriend was so delighted with the news, but I straight up told him that I don’t want a baby right now. He got angry and said to me “Fine, just go ahead and kill another one of my babies.”
I couldn’t believe my ears when those words left his mouth. He’s usually mellow and sweet, so, to hear that from him was a low blow. First, because he was on board with the abortion, or at least that’s what he said back then; second, because he didn’t even try to be on my shoes and understand that’ I’m too emotionally charged right now; and third, because he just assumed I’m getting an abortion, he didn’t even let me finish my case so now he thinks I already made up my mind.
He tried to apologize immediately after but I just had to get out of there. He’s been calling me non-stop, but I’m ignoring him until I can settle this inner turmoil so that I can face him. I’m not getting a second abortion, but he made me feel so dirty and guilty that I’m not sure how to handle the situation.
What do you think? Should I move on and forgive him? How can I let him know he hurt my feelings sincerely without being overly dramatic?
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