Man writes a brutal analogy to help men understand women’s experiences with violence
Inviting other men to an exercise of empathy author A.R. Moxon he made an analogy about women submitted to sexual violence that will leave no man indifferent to this alarming and so common problem.
On October 6, Moxon took to Twitter to share a long series of posts that likened being a victim of sexual misconducts to being kicked in the testicles, to imagine how it feels to be repeatedly ignored when denouncing abuse.
Moxon wanted to express in terms relatable to any man the internal struggle that a great number of women face when society as a whole fails to offer female survivors of abuse the support and justice they need and deserve.
The series of tweets resonated with many women in outrage over the Trump administration way of dealing with the sexual misconduct accusations about judge Brett Kavanaugh. Read more on our Twitter account @amomama_usa
Hi, guys. Imagine if one day you got kicked in the nuts, really hard, on purpose.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
You doubled over. Felt the pain. Nearly passed out. Nearly puked.
Then you got kicked again. And again.
“Hi, guys. Imagine if one day you got kicked in the nuts, really hard, on purpose. You doubled over. Felt the pain. Nearly passed out. Nearly puked. Then you got kicked again. And again,” Moxon started his analogy.
Imagine it happened to you when you were 12.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine it was an 38 year old woman who did it.
Imagine it was your mother’s friend and business partner.
“Imagine you told your parents and they didn’t believe you. Imagine they never mentioned it again.You learned to keep quiet about it. You learned to be scared.”
-A.R. Moxon, Twitter, October 6, 2018.
Imagine you told your parents and they didn’t believe you.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine they never mentioned it again.
You learned to keep quiet about it.
You learned to be scared.
The author goes on to extend the analogy in detail to picture how rape culture and women’s objectification are installed in every aspect of our society, from what we are taught by our parents to advertising and the legal system.
Imagine that later your father explained that women just wanted to kick men in the nuts, so as a boy you had to be careful.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine he had very detailed practical advice on this.
Imagine you started spending your life planning on avoiding being kicked in the nuts.
“Imagine you heard about men with ruptured testicles who had to pay for their own forensic reports. Imagine you saw statistics showing only 1% of kickings resulted in conviction,” Moxon wrote.
Imagine you became aware that women, including much older women—even elderly women—were always looking at your nuts. Women on the street would follow you. They’d tell you what a nice package you have. They’d tell you you’d be hot if you just showed off your nuts a little more.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
In an indirect and literary way, without naming names, Moxon recalled the scandals around sexual misconduct involving high profile members of the current administration, including the US President and Kavanaugh.
Imagine you started wearing clothes to hide them. You bought uncomfortable protective gear.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
All the posters and advertisements in all the magazines featured men’s crotches, though frequently not their heads.
Women’s feet were frequently featured in prominent juxtaposition.
Moxon went on to “imagine” a situation when a female president takes the side of the alleged abusers of her same sex instead of listening to the accusers, mocking them and failing to launch a proper investigation.
Imagine most of your friends all told you about getting kicked in the nuts.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine none of them had ever told anybody else.
Imagine all the older girls at school would make jokes about kicking you in the nuts.
Imagine all the laughter. The jokes are all so funny.
As Moxon’s analogy keeps unfolding, the similarities between his hypothetical portrayal of gender inequality in a world ruled by women to the entire case against then-Supreme-Court-nominee Brett Kavanaugh.
Imagine you went to church and were told that God made girls to want your body, so you should protect your nuts at all costs.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine the minister said it was your responsibility as a maturing boy not to do anything that would make girls think about kicking you in the nuts.
“Imagine the President mocked the accuser in front of a crowd, and the crowd laughed and clapped. Imagine the judge was confirmed. Imagine the deciding vote was a man. Can you imagine?” asked Moxon.
Imagine you found a girlfriend, and you loved each other.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
One night, you were fooling around and she kicked you as hard as she could in the nuts, and it all came rushing back.
Imagine she acted like obviously you wanted to be kicked in the nuts,mocked you for getting emotional.
“When women tell their stories of living with danger and vulnerability, and of survival from assault, our first instinct appears to be to protect ourselves from personal culpability and accountability,” the writer later told Bored Panda.
Imagine a girl was caught kicking a boy repeatedly in the nuts while he was passed out drunk.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine the judge let her off, because she was worried about the damage to the girl’s future prospects. She was a star swimmer with a scholarship.
Imagine this happened all the time.
“We certainly saw that dynamic play out as the Kavanaugh story developed,” he added, this time staying away from his abstract exercise and focusing on the concrete, not shying away from mentioning Kavanaugh by his name.
Imagine if one day men all started talking about how almost all of them had, at one point or another, been kicked in the nuts.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine if women’s main concern was what false accusation might do to their reputations, and whether this new honesty might ruin the mystery of sex.
Despite the controversy around Christine Blasey Ford’s allegations against Kavanaugh, the lawyer was confirmed for a seat in the Supreme Court.
Imagine a woman ran for President.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine audio came out of her bragging about making it a regular practice to kick men in the nuts without even introducing herself.
Imagine she lost no support for this.
Apart from Ford, two other women have denounced Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct, and an anonymous accusation against him was sent to a senator in a letter.
Imagine she claimed the men accusing her were lying.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Imagine she said they were too ugly to kick.
Imagine there had never been a male president.
Imagine she ran against the first major-party male candidate.
Imagine he had experience, and she had none.
Imagine she won anyway.
The alleged incidents are said to have happened between the 1980’s when Kavanaugh was a college student, and 1998.
Now imagine that being kicked in the nuts might result in you having to create, in your body, a genetic replication of the person who kicked you.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
And imagine that the judge intended to make sure you’d have to carry it.
Imagine that was the *reason* she was chosen.
Kavanaugh’s former Yale University classmate Deborah Ramirez and Julie Swetnick also made formal accusations about the lawman, ranging from exposure to “gang rape.”
I can't imagine women's rage today, but this exercise, while abstract, helped me get nearer to it than I'd been.— A.R. Moxon (@JuliusGoat) October 6, 2018
Be kind to women, guys. Today and every day.
If you see somebody being cruel to women, or abusive, or violent?
Kick 'em in the nuts.
The way Ford was treated during the congressional hearing to determine whether Kavanaugh was in fact involved in behaviors that made him unacceptable as a member of the Supreme Court caused public outrage, and many celebrities used their platforms to support Ford and all the survivors.
In an appearance on “The Late Night Show with Stephen Colbert,” singer Lady Gaga called the debate about Kavanaugh vs Ford “one of the most upsetting things [she had] ever witnessed.”
watch this and listen to every word she says pic.twitter.com/dHYLxD7Xer— Gaga Daily (@gagadaily) October 5, 2018
“Trump the other day was speaking at a rally, and he said, ‘She has no memory of how she got to the party. Should we trust that she remembers the assault?’ And the answer is ‘yes’ … And I also know this woman is smart because she’s a psychologist – she’s no dummy,” said the star.
After revealing she had suffered from sexual abuse at age 15, comedian and TV show host Ellen DeGeneres spoke against people who chose not to believe the victims and take sides with the abusers.
“What you remember is what happened to you, where you were, and how you feel. That's what you remember.”@TheEllenShow talks to @SavannahGuthrie about Dr. Ford’s testimony and her own experience. Tune in tomorrow for full interview. pic.twitter.com/6F6CGQb8LG— TODAY (@TODAYshow) October 4, 2018
DeGeneres expressed her support for Ford and talked from the perspective of the survivors in an interview she gave in her own show to commemorate the 1-year anniversary of the #MeToo movement.
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