Man receives an annoying call from a telemarketer
The joke of the day is something very relatable that is sure to cause a giggle!
We are all familiar with telemarketers. The call at the oddest of times and usually when you are in the middle of something, trying to sell you something you don't want or need.
They usually barely say hello before lunging into their rambled sales pitch, and it's frustrating because usually these people can be rather pushy and don’t take no for an answer without a rebuttal.
Tom Mabe: “Hello?”
Telemarketer: “Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe?”
Tom Mabe: “Who’s calling?”
Telemarketer: “This is Mike. You have been selected to receive a complete digital satellite system for free. With this, you’re going to-”
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Tom Mabe: “Let me ask you something. Did you know Tom Mabe? Were you a friend of his?”
Mike: “No I’m not. I’m just calling to offer-”
Tom Mabe: Hooold on, so you were calling to offer ..what? Hold on for a second (to other people in the room: Guys! I need good pictures of the body and dust for prints everywhere.)
Tom Mabe: I am not Tom, I am Officer Clarke, and I’m conducting a homicide investigation, and you need to tell me why you called a murder scene. Start by telling me the nature of your business with Tom Mabe.
Mike: “I…I had no business with him. I’m sorry to have bothered-
Tom Mabe: No no no hang on, I’m going to ask you to stay on the phone… this call has already been traced and we may need to come in for further questioning…”
Mike: “You don’t understand, I’m just calling-”
Tom Mabe: “No, you don’t understand. Unless you want to be charged with Obstruction of Justice, I suggest you stay on the phone, Mike.”
Mike: “How about you just talk to my supervisor?”
Tom Mabe: “No, we will get to your supervisor in a second. First, gimme your whereabouts…”
Mike: “I’m at work.”
Tom Mabe: “You’re at work?”
Tom Mabe: “You bein’ obtuse?”
Mike: “No sir-”
Tom Mabe: “ Geographically speaking, Mike, where is work?”
Mike: “40 West (beep), Middleton, Colorado.”
Tom Mabe: “Hold on, that’s 40…”
Mike: “Yes sir.”
Tom Mabe: “Michael, hold on one sec, alright?”
Mike: “Yes sir.”
Tom Mabe: “(off phone to cops) Get the Middleton Homicide Department on the phone. Yeah, give them this information. Tell them there been a Talk In Connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery.” (on phone) “Mike, how did you know Mr. Mabe again?”
Mike: “Wait, you’re calling the Middleton Police Department?! I’m hundreds of miles away! I don’t even know the guy, I’m in Colorado!”
Tom Mabe: “No, no, it’s not that scary, that’s just a formality. Have you been to his place of residence?”
Mike: “I’m not feeling really comfortable with any of this…”
Tom: “Have you even ever spoken to Mr. Mabe, Mike?”
Mike: “No, I don’t even know the guy- that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
Tom Mabe: “Ok, great, just calm down, hold on, look, just back up… I’ve got just one more question for you, Mike… as you well know, I’m sure, Mr. Mabe was a flaming homosexual. You stated the reason for your call was to offer your services .. were you his gay lover?
Mike: What?! No! What the hell kind of question is that?!
Tom Mabe: Look look, if gay is your way, that’s Ok. I still know there are a lotta you gay people in that closet. Not sayin’ I haven’t thought ’bout it myself… you know? Go out to Las Vegas, or somethin’. Buy a couple o’ drinks… cut lil’ Mexican midget…”
Mike: “This is ridiculous! (hangs up.)”
Tom Mabe: “Hello?”