Transgender man who gave birth responds to the haters with humor and openness
Seeing a pregnant man is something that will surely surprise anybody. But sometimes this surprise can manifest as anger and hatred. One transgender man experienced this when he fell pregnant.
A transgender man from Oregon, Trystan Reese, was assigned female at birth. As he grew older, Trystan realized that he identifies as male. As an adult, he decided to have hormone treatment, but no surgery.
He met his partner, Biff Chaplow, and they decided to have a child together. Trystan’s decision to not have surgery made this possible because he stopped hormone treatment for a few months and then he was able to conceive naturally.
Read more on our Twitter account @amomama_usa.
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Im preparing to head to Seattle next week to the plenary at this year’s @outandequal conference. The topic of my speech is Belonging. . So I’d love to know from my community— what does belonging mean to you? How do you know you belong? What does it feel like? . Newborn Leo photo by @sommessa.photography . #outandequal2018 #transforhire #seattle #belonging #interconnection #trystanreese #transgender #transpregnancy #transparenting #seahorsedad #seahorsebaby #imadethat
While modern times are progressive, not everyone shares that view. The couple received many negative comments on their decision, especially in the form of cyberbullying.
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One year ago, Biff suggested that I take the car to work so I wouldn’t have to take public transit. At that time I usually took the commuter train, known as the MAX, to and from work. I was 8 months pregnant and didn’t want to feel weak or fragile but I said yes to taking our car instead of the MAX. ☁️ I drove away from the office at my usual time, the same time I would have caught the MAX. I wanted to take advantage of the fact that I had the car so I went to Trader Joe’s to grab dinner. As I pulled into the parking lot, sirens suddenly swarmed around me. Police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks sped by at full speed, headed across the street to the transit center. My first thought was, “Whatever is happening there... That’s my train.” ☁️ Within minutes, the news was everywhere. A white supremacist, already known to Portland authorities, harassed two young women of color. Three bystanders intervened and the attacker pulled out a knife and stabbed them. ☁️ I didn’t leave the house after that. This photo was taken a week later, when I finally agreed to go on a previously-planned family weekend trip to the beach. I spent much of the time inside, contemplating my situation. I was a very pregnant man in a very scary world. I called my mom and begged her to let me come to Canada for the remainder of my pregnancy; it wasn’t rational... I just wanted my mom and felt like somehow she could keep me safe. She eventually said no, worried that I would go into labor away from my medical team and Biff and the kids. “It’s just too dangerous,” she said. She was right. ☁️ What you see on my face in this photo isn’t peaceful bliss or dreamy contemplation of our upcoming life with a newborn. It’s fear. Maybe even terror. When you’re pregnant, every bone in your body is receiving a message to keep the baby safe. Everything feels like a threat. Oh, and I was receiving actual threats as well... which didn’t help. ☁️ I am proud to be a survivor. Proud to be a dad. Proud to be trans. Now... more than ever before. Bravery doesn’t mean lack of fear. Bravery means being afraid and forging ahead anyway. ☁️ 🌧 ☀️ 🌈 #resilience #transpride #lgbtq #pride #gaypride #twodads #seahorsedad
Trystan acknowledges that many people who write these comments would not be confident enough to approach the couple in public:
“We find that behind the shroud of anonymity, people feel pretty empowered to tell us what should happen to us, to our children, to our family.”
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Today we celebrate our seventh Chaplow Family Day, when two became four as we welcomed little Hailey and Riley into our lives. . Today is the day that we encourage them to ask any new questions that may have arisen over the past year, relating to how and why they came to live with us. Of course they can ask those questions anytime they like, but we like to have one day specially set aside in case they been sitting on anything and have been afraid or embarrassed about inquiring. . Today we celebrate the great mysteries of the universe, that sent two kids wise beyond their years to two grownups not quite ready to grow up. They’ve given us the best parts of adulthood, and I hope we’ve given them the best parts of childhood. . ❤️❤️❤️ . #uncledaddy #adoption #candidchildhood #rainbowfamily #equallyfamily #familyplacement #overnightfamily #surprisekids #blessingindisguise #twodads #gaydads #gayswithkids 😍😍😍
In public places, the couple is also not fully accepted as they do get judgmental looks from people, but thus far no one has confronted them.
However, the couple is not only receiving negative comments online. They have many fans on social media who look to them as role models and inspiration.
ANOTHER TRANSGENDER PREGNANCY
His then-boyfriend suggested that Kayden take a pregnancy test after he had been experiencing back pain. The test came back positive, much to Kayden’s surprise.
Kayden and his boyfriend got married soon after, and Kayden gave birth to their daughter, Azealia. The couple has taken parenthood in their stride and is happy to have a child together.