logo

5 laughable marriage stories and jokes that will amuse you

Odette Odendaal
By Odette Odendaal
Jan 16, 2019
10:07 P.M.

No matter what time of the day it is, it will always be a good time for a laugh. And as we all know, marriages provide an endless source of humor.Following are five jokes guaranteed to make you chuckle.

Advertisement

Husbands and Marriage

My wife kept on hinting that I should get things fixed, like when the lawn mower broke. For some reason, something always came between me fixing it, like email, the car, the truck, fishing.

So one day I came home to find that my wife had found a workaround to the situation. I found her seated in the tall grass with a small pair of scissors, snipping away at the tall blades.

After watching her briefly, I went into the house. Shortly after I came out again and handed her a toothbrush while I said:

'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

Doctors said I would walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Advertisement

Birthdays and Wives

While sitting at the bar, Archie told his friend, Bert that it is his wife’s birthday. Bert eyeing his nearly empty glass asked Archie, “What are you getting for her?”

With a grin, Archie replied, “Make me an offer!”

Do You Know Your Wife?

Hesitant to believe what he just read, Laurence asked his dad:

“Is it true that in ancient China a man didn’t know his wife until they got married?”

“That happens everywhere, Laurence, absolutely everywhere!” his dad responded.

Source: Giphy

Source: Giphy

Advertisement

A Wife and the Flu

Peter started feeling ill and came down with the flu, so he decided to stay home and rest up. He was appreciative of the time he had to rest up, as it gave him a new appreciation for his wife.

One thing was clear to Peter; his wife loved him very much. Every time a delivery driver or mailman arrived, she ran out yelling, “My husband’s home! My husband’s home!”

Source: Wikimedia

Source: Wikimedia

Life Insurance

Advertisement

An insurance salesman was trying his best to persuade Mrs. Warren to buy a life insurance policy, with her being a housewife he thought it would be a good idea to make her think about what would happen to her if her husband were to pass since she has no income.

“If your husband died tomorrow, what would you get?” the salesman asked.

After a second to ponder she replied:

“Oh, a Yorkshire terrier dog, I think, they're so well-behaved.”

Source: Freepik

Source: Freepik

If you are in the mood for another

, then the man who planned a special surprise for his wife for their anniversary would do the trick, especially with everything that does not go according to plan.

Advertisement
Advertisement
Related posts
Simone Biles | Source: Getty Images

Simone Biles, 29, Shares Hospital Photo After a Procedure She Has Yet to Explain

July 28, 2026

The Prince and Princess of Wales | Source: Getty Images

William and Kate's Summer Carousel Sparks Conversation After Meghan's Similar Family Post — Photos

July 30, 2026

Simone Biles | Source: Getty Images

Simone Biles Catches Eyes in a Breathtaking Look at the ESPYS as Her Husband's Moment Has the Internet Divided — Photos

July 15, 2026

James Haven with his father, Jon Voight, and sister, Angelina Jolie | Source: Getty Images

Who Is Romi Imbelli? The 'Real L Word' Star Who Married Angelina Jolie's Brother — and Filed for Annulment 15 Days Later

August 07, 2026

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds | Source: Getty Images

The Best Trolling Moments Between Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively

July 14, 2026

Nolan Wells with his friends. | Source: X/@901Lulu

Christine Wonsley Received a Mysterious Letter – What Was Inside and What She Had to Say About It

July 20, 2026

King Charles III, Prince William, Princess Catherine, Meghan Markle, and Prince Harry | Source: Getty Images

Meghan Markle Turns 45: What King Charles Is Expected to Do — and Why William and Kate Are a Different Story

August 04, 2026

Sara Gilson | Source: Facebook/UsWeekly

A 911 Call Revealed What a Dispatcher Heard from Inside Influencer Sara Gilson's Home Before Her Passing – Details

July 27, 2026

Donald Trump and Lindsey Graham | Source: Getty Images

Donald Trump Delivers Tribute for Lindsey Graham — But One Moment at the Funeral Has Netizens Talking

July 29, 2026

Amanda "Mandy" Karolkiewicz and Kristopher Karolkiewicz with their six kids. | Source: Facebook/therobbieharvey

What Amanda 'Mandy' Karolkiewicz Posted Online Before the Michigan Tragedy Is Now Under a Microscope – Details

July 29, 2026

Donald Trump | Source: Getty Images

Donald Trump Spotted Doing Something Unexpected at Lindsey Graham’s Funeral That Has Netizens Talking

July 28, 2026