5 laughable marriage stories and jokes that will amuse you
No matter what time of the day it is, it will always be a good time for a laugh. And as we all know, marriages provide an endless source of humor.Following are five jokes guaranteed to make you chuckle.
Husbands and Marriage
My wife kept on hinting that I should get things fixed, like when the lawn mower broke. For some reason, something always came between me fixing it, like email, the car, the truck, fishing.
So one day I came home to find that my wife had found a workaround to the situation. I found her seated in the tall grass with a small pair of scissors, snipping away at the tall blades.
After watching her briefly, I went into the house. Shortly after I came out again and handed her a toothbrush while I said:
'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”
Doctors said I would walk again, but I will always have a limp.
Birthdays and Wives
While sitting at the bar, Archie told his friend, Bert that it is his wife’s birthday. Bert eyeing his nearly empty glass asked Archie, “What are you getting for her?”
With a grin, Archie replied, “Make me an offer!”
Do You Know Your Wife?
Hesitant to believe what he just read, Laurence asked his dad:
“Is it true that in ancient China a man didn’t know his wife until they got married?”
“That happens everywhere, Laurence, absolutely everywhere!” his dad responded.
A Wife and the Flu
Peter started feeling ill and came down with the flu, so he decided to stay home and rest up. He was appreciative of the time he had to rest up, as it gave him a new appreciation for his wife.
One thing was clear to Peter; his wife loved him very much. Every time a delivery driver or mailman arrived, she ran out yelling, “My husband’s home! My husband’s home!”
An insurance salesman was trying his best to persuade Mrs. Warren to buy a life insurance policy, with her being a housewife he thought it would be a good idea to make her think about what would happen to her if her husband were to pass since she has no income.
“If your husband died tomorrow, what would you get?” the salesman asked.
After a second to ponder she replied:
“Oh, a Yorkshire terrier dog, I think, they're so well-behaved.”